


Something worth living for

by Bynbyn101



Series: You're my future [1]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Abuse, Anal Sex, Bottom Jared, F/M, Implied or Off-stage Rape/Non-con, Jensen's a bit of a jerk, M/M, Miscarriage, Mpreg, Oral Sex, Slow Build, Suicidal Thoughts, Top Jensen, more added later
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-18
Updated: 2013-06-27
Packaged: 2017-12-15 09:54:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 40,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/848171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bynbyn101/pseuds/Bynbyn101
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All Jared Padalecki wanted in life is to be a carrier. When he found out that he was it turned out to be the greatest day of his life. But after several bad relationships Jared believes he will never find a happy ever after. Enter commitment phobe Jensen Ackles. He's convinced that love is nothing but a fairytale. But what will happen when he meets broken, scared and scarred Jared?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. From the greatest to the worst

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize ahead of time for this. I love writing but I've never really let other people read it. So here is my first attempted at: letting people read my work, fanfiction, and Mpreg. And of course I do not know any of these people. I am merely borrowing names/ faces for the purpose of my story.

Ever since he was young Jared wanted to be a carrier. It didn't matter that he hadn't even known if he was gay yet he just wanted to be one. The thought of him being able to carry his own children made him excited. He watched his female relatives carrying their children and couldn't help but feel envious. There was nothing that he wanted more in his life.

As time went on and Jared went through puberty the desire to be a carrier stayed with him. When he figured out that he was in fact gay it felt like one more step in the direction he wanted his life to be going. But when his older brother came home from being tested and they found that he wasn't a carrier, Jared was absolutely crushed. Since their father wasn't a carrier and now his brother wasn't either that basically meant that Jared wasn't going to be either. So at the age of fourteen he saw his dreams start to slowly vanish.

Three days after his sixteenth birthday Jared found himself in the doctor's office. His mother was holding has hand, whispering to him that everything would work out. The patient before him came out looking completely distraught. Both him and his mother were crying as they walked down the corridor. The boy reached out for his mother but she violently ripped her body away from him. He stopped, his body rocking with sobs. That was the typical reaction to finding out your teenage son was a carrier; embarrassed parents who refused to acknowledge them. His mother scoffed, whispering to him how some people don't appreciate a gift when they are given one.When they were called into the office Jared could already feel the disappointment. He was pretty sure the doctor misjudge it as fear because when he came back with the results a few minutes later he apologized for having to deliver bad news. Jared was a carrier. Jared had the doctor repeat it three times before he started to cry. He got his dream. He was a carrier and he was going to be able to have children. His mother hugged him and told him how happy she was for him. Once the doctor figured out that Jared was in fact happy with the news he gave Jared a hug and told him how refreshing it was to have someone excite for the news. That was the greatest day of Jared Padalecki's life.

Later that year Jared started dating his first boyfriend. When they started dating Sam was amazing. He was attentive and kind with the type of humor that had Jared constantly in stitches. Jared was convinced that he was going to marry Sam. Jeff, Jared's older brother, always seemed to have a problem with Sam. Every time he came over Jeff refused to be in the same room as him. At first Jared thought that his older brother was uncomfortable with him being gay. One day Jared cornered his brother and demanded an explanation for his rude behavior. Jeff proceeded to tell his brother that Sam rubbed him the wrong way. That comments he made, ways that he spoke to Jared, made him distrust that the guy. Jared called his brother every name he could think of and refused to speak to him.

He'd been dating Sam for six months when he found out that he sound have listened to his older brother. It started innocent enough; punches to the arm just a little too hard, slaps to the face that left Jared's face stinging and red. Sam apologized every time he did it at first. Then it got worse. After what he thought was an innocent argument Sam held Jared down to the floor and beat him until he was bloody. When he was finished he spat on Jared and told him to get out of his sight. Jared picked himself up off the floor and walked the three hours home only to be cornered by Jeff the moment he entered the house. Still in fight mode Jared tried to swing at his brother when he advanced on him but the moment he lifted his arm Jeff pulled him into him and hugged him to his chest. When asked what happened Jared lied to his brother and told him he was jumped while walking home from school.

That was how life went for Jared for several more months. Sam would get angry and beat him until he couldn't see out of one of his eyes then he would lie to him family about how it happened. Jared invented bullies. Ones that were after him because he was gay. Jeff would demand names but Jared would just tell him that he wanted to deal with it on his own. Then one day something changed with Sam. He stopped beating Jared for a while. He seemed to have gone back to be the loving, funny guy that Jared started dating. But after a silly disagreement about which movie to watch Sam held Jared down and forced himself on him. Jared tried screaming for him to stop but Sam just held his face in a pillow nearly suffocating him as he roughly took his virginity against his will.

A month later Jared found himself in the bathroom looking down at the positive pregnancy test. With how scared he was he couldn't help but also feel excited. This was what he wanted for his life. He was going to be having the baby he always dreamed of. In a fit of what would turn out to be stupidity Jared told Sam the good news. Sam screamed at him, calling him a freak of nature. He told him there was no way in hell that Jared would be having the baby. When Jared said he would never abort his baby Sam knocked him down and repeatedly kicked him in the stomach. Once he was satisfied that he had successfully cause Jared to miscarriage Sam ran out of the house. That is how Jeff found his little brother. And that is how Jared lost his little miracle. That was the worst day of Jared's life.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All the mistakes are my own. And I must admit that I love dialog. So I apologize now if it gets too dialog heavy for your liking.

Jensen stretched his arms over his head feeling as different bones popped. He was well rested and more than just a tiny bit sated. Last night's one night stand stirred beside him. Opening his eyes in slits Jensen looked over at the younger woman. He must have gotten drunker then he thought last night because this woman was nowhere near his usual type. It's not that she wasn't attractive, cause she really was, it's just that she wasn't a guy. In the past few years it had become extremely rare for Jensen to sleep with someone besides a man. There was no way Steve and Chris aren't going to razz him about this.

Speaking of Chris, Jensen can hear his friend letting himself into the apartment. The young girl next to him bolted upright, pulling the covers over her body. Deciding he wanted to be a dick while showing this girl that this was a onetime thing, Jensen pretended to still be sleeping. Several minutes later Chris came barreling into the room.

"Jensen you lazy ass," Chris yelled. When he saw the girl sitting in the bed he stopped short. "Well apparently you haven't been as lazy as I originally thought."

 "That coffee for me?" Jensen asked. The girl next to him sputtered, shooting him questioning looks.

"You know it is," Chris said handing the take out coffee cup to him. "So who is she?"

Jensen took a sip of the coffee. He shrugged. "Kristy?"

"Eleanor," she corrected.

"I could have sworn your name was Kristy," Jensen mumbled.

"I think Kristy was Tuesday night," Chris told him.

"No, no Tuesday night was Matt. Maybe Kristy was Wednesday night?"

"Kristy is the other girl I was with last night you pig," Eleanor yelled as she jumped out of the bed. She pulled the blankets off of Jensen leaving him lying on the bed naked. "I'm getting dressed. Then I am leaving."

"Okay cool," Jensen told her as he stretched out on the bed.

"And don't even think about calling me ever," she yelled as she disappeared down the hallway.

"Wasn't planning on it sweet heart," he mumbled taking another sip of his coffee.

"You gonna cover yourself up?"

Jensen laughed and rolled over onto his stomach. He buried his face in the nearest pillow. "Nah," he mumbled into the pillow. "Thanks for the coffee by the way."

"No-" Chris's reply was cut off by the slamming of the front door. "No problem man," he finished. "You getting up anytime soon?"

"What time is it?"

"Little after ten. If we leave soon we can get to Dallas before three. Maybe get drunk then head to the concert."

"We meeting Steve in Dallas?"

"Nah we've gotta pick him up on the way. Somehow he ended up in Canton. He was mumbling about a chick so I think he managed to pick himself up a girl last night."

Jensen groaned, rolling back over onto his back. Several seconds later he was hit in the face with a pair of underwear. "Man, this better be a clean pair," he whined as he pulled the offered clothes on.

"You gotta pretty good sniff of it so you tell me if it is," Chris drawled. "Come on dude get your ass out of the bed so we can get out of here."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah I'm a moving," Jensen shot back as he rolled out of bed. He grabbed the cup of coffee off the bed side table and took another swig of the fast cooling liquid. Feeling slightly more energized he started rummaging through the drawers of his dresser. Eventually he managed to organize an outfit he felt was fit for the night.

"You ready yet?" Chris yelled from the living room. "Steve's got my number on speed dial and he's already called me four times."

"Tell him to get his panties out of their twist," Jensen said as he walked out of the bedroom. "I'm ready to go."

Chris looked up at Jensen with a smile. "We were just discussing you're sweet little chica you had in here earlier. "

"How angry with me is he?"

Chris sighed. "He's not angry, he's concerned. We're both concerned. All you do is eat, sleep, work, and fuck. You can't live like that."

Jensen rolled his eyes. "I've been doing pretty well for the last ten years."

"All of this is because of C..."

"You say his name and I will cut your dick off," Jensen growled.

Chris raised his hands in surrender. "Sorry man," he whispered. He cleared his throat and looked away. "Come on we should probably get going."

"Yeah," Jensen mumbled. "Look man..."

"No I get it," Chris said cutting him off. "You tried the whole relationship and it didn't work. I'd rather see you happy doing what it is you do then see you miserable trying to be a one person man. All I was saying is that I am worried."

"Well you can stop being worried. I'm happy."

Chris reached out and pulled Jensen into a one arm hug. "I know you are," he said.

Jensen cleared his throat and backed out of the embrace. "Right," he mumbled. "Let's get going."

"Grab your shit and let's get going," Chris yelled over his shoulder.

Jensen stopped at the door and picked up his wallet, keys, and shoved his feet into his shoes. With one last glance at the mirror above his hallway table he exited the apartment, following behind Chris to his car.

***

"Ay ho," Steve yelled as he ran to the car. He threw the backseat door and jumped in. "Get your rusty piece of junk moving."

"Things start to unravel?" Jensen asked. He turned to look at Steve's flustered face.

"She started getting clingy. Asked me to cancel my plans with you guys so I could hang out with her," he grumbled. "Scared the shit out of my."

"See," Jensen said lightly tapping Chris on the shoulder. "I'm not the only one who treats my one night stands badly."

"Don't hit the driver," Chris shouted at the same time that Steve said, "Don't you dare compare me to you." This caused Jensen to burst out laughing.

"How'd you end up in Canton anyways?" Chris asked once Jensen had stopped laughing.

"I don't even know man," Steve sighed. "First I was in a bar in Dallas and the next I was in Canton. I don't even remember the drive. How about you Jensen? How'd you end up with a chick last night?"

Jensen sighed. "She was willing?" He shrugged and looked out the window. "And Caleb showed up at the bar."

"Caleb's back in town?"

"I guess so. I didn't exactly run up and talk to him. I saw him from far away an panicked. Got sloppy drunk then grabbed the hand of the nearest girl and brought her home. I think I meant to go for her friend though."

"That's why you thought she was Kristy?"

"No I knew she was Eleanor but-"

"So you did know her name?" Chris asked cutting him off. "Why the fuck did you pretend like you didn't know her name?"

"It got her out of my apartment, didn't it?"

"You are a pig," he sneered.

Jensen slouched down into the seat. "I could tell he was sneaking glance over at me while I was at the bar. I needed to get out of there with someone so it looked like I wasn't alone."

"It's been almost ten years Jensen," Steve whispered. He leaned forward, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"I know it been almost ten years," Jensen spat shrugging Steve's hand off. "Can we just stop talking about this? This conversation is slowly starting to ruin my night."

"Sorry," Steve and Chris mumbled at the same time.

"So," Jensen said clearing his throat. "Where are we going first?"

"We're gonna get your ass drunk so you'll be fun again," Chris said punching Jensen in the arm. 

"I can deal with that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I made Jensen a bit of a jerk. He'll get better eventually though so don't worry.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More dialog! I think it's a sickness really. Also all mistakes are my own.

Jensen had one hell of a buzz going by the time they entered the second bar of the night. To be honest he probably never actually sobered up after last night. So the fact that it was only six in the evening and he was already stumbling around was putting Steve and Chris in a foul mood.

"Will you slow down?" Steve yelled, yanking the shot glass out of his hand. "They're not going to let you into the club at this rate."

Jensen sat down heavily on a bar stool. "Yeah, yeah," he mumbled. He got the bartenders attention and ordered a Coke. "Happy?" He asked when he had the cold soda in his hand.

"Very much so," Chris drawled.

"I hate you both," Jensen mumbled as he took a sip of the soda.

"We agreed to let you have a good night. Last time I checked that doesn't include getting arrested with a drunken disorderly."

Jensen snorted. "The concert mean that much to you?"

"No," Chris said as he knocked into Jensen's shoulder. "Your record and whether or not you keep the plush little job you have is what is important to us."

"Besides you paid for the concert tickets. If we spend the night trying to get your drunk ass out of jail it won't be any money out of our pockets," Steve added after he downed Jensen's shot.

"Yeah well I..." Jensen lost track of what he was saying. His eyes had started filtering through the crowd and he ended up spotting what he could only describe as the cutest guy he has ever seen. Usually Jensen doesn't go for cute. Usually he looks for the hottest guy in the club or bar he is in and steals him before anyone else can grab them. But this guy, this kid, makes him want cute.

"You listening to me man?"Chris asked as he punched Jensen in the shoulder.

"Nope," he said. He got off the chair and started moving towards the guy. It was like he had a pull on Jensen. Like even if he tried Jensen would still be moving towards him.

"And he's here," he heard the guy he was with say. "What do you want?" He sneered jumping in front of Jensen's target.

"I just want to meet your friend," Jensen told him trying to push past.

"Nope," he growled pushing Jensen back.

"What is your deal?" Jensen growled back.

"What's my deal?" He mocked. "You smell like a distillery. And sex. And everything that I don't want near my friend."

"Chad," the guy said finally. "It's fine."

"No it's not," he barked. "It's not fine. I'm not going to let you..."

"I'm a big boy, Chad, I can take care of myself."

"Jared..."

"Hi I'm Jensen," he cut off offering his hand to Jared.

Jared turned fully to Jensen and he got his first look at him. And what he had seen from the other side of the bar paled in comparison to how Jared really looked. He wasn't just cute, he was stunning. His light brown hair curled around his ears and fell into his eyes. When he brushed the hair back Jensen got a good look at his eyes.

"Your eyes are beautiful," he heard himself saying. He clamped a hand over his mouth. "I swear I am not as drunk as I smell."

"Okay," Jared whispered. He shot a look over at his friend, Chad, before he looked back at Jensen.

"Hi," Jensen said lamely.

"Hi?" Jared shifted uncomfortably under Jensen's gaze. He looked around the room, then back at Chad, then back at Jensen again.

"I'm sorry," Jensen whispered backing away. "I guess this was a bad idea."

"Yeah it was," Chad said pushing in front of Jensen so that he could stand in front of Jared. "Now get lost like I said before."

"Chad," Jared snapped.

"What?" Chad snapped back. He turned to look at Jared.

"Shut up," he snarled. He looked back up at Jensen. "Can I buy you a drink?"

"Really Jared?"

"Shut. Up."

"Fine whatever," Chad grumbled. He moved out of Jensen's way and walked towards a table where another tall guy was sitting. When he sat down he whispered something to the guy and they both proceeded to stare daggers at Jensen.

"If looks could kill I'd be a dead man," Jensen whispered.

Jared turned to follow Jensen's gaze. With a sigh he turned back. "Sorry about them. They are just really protective over me." Jared pushed some hair behind his ear; the movement relieving a rather large scar over his left eyebrow. "So how about that drink?"

"Actually I've been cut off by my friends. It's just soda for me for the rest of the time I'm here."

"Oh," Jared whispered.

"Yeah," Jensen said. "But I could always buy you a drink. If you'd like that?"

Jared nodded his head. "I'd really like that."

Jensen grabbed Jared's hand and led him through the crowd to the bar. After he managed to convince Jared to take a seat at the bar he ordered himself another coke and Jared a beer.

"So," Jared said after he's gotten his beer. "You were saying you were heading out of here?"

"Yeah my friends and I have tickets to a concert." Jensen looked down at his watch. "We've gotta head to the venue in about an hour."

"Cool, cool," Jared whispered. He looked down at the beer in his hand. "So I'm guessing you're not from Dallas."

"Nah I'm from San Antonio. But my friend Chris and I drive up this way a lot cause our friend Steve lives here. How about you?"

"I live in Canton. But I'm originally from Dallas. I moved there about a year ago."

"Can I ask why?"

Jared's head snapped up suddenly. He had a deer caught in head lights look on his face; his eyes shooting to where Chad and the other guy were sitting. When he realized Jensen was waiting for an answer he bolted out of his seat.

"It was nice meeting you," he mumbled as he tried to move away from the bar.

"Wait," Jensen called. He grabbed Jared loosely around the wrist trying to stop his movement. The sound of two chairs violently hitting the ground filled the now eerily quiet bar.

"Get your hands off of him," Jensen heard someone bellow.

He looked up to see the two guys from earlier standing in front of him and Jared. The taller of the two wrapped his hand around Jensen's and squeezed until he had to let go. Once Jared was out of his grasps he pulled Jared into his side. Next thing he knew the second guy, Chad, was in his face.

"Don't you ever touch him again," he spat in Jensen's face. "Do I make myself clear?"

"Whoa," Jensen stuttered. He took a step back and connected with someone behind him. He looked back to see Chris and Steve standing there with their arms crossed over their chests.

"What's going on here?" Steve asked.

Chad backed away from Jensen. Chris and Steve may not be overly tall guys but they had some muscle to them. Add to the fact that they were both tattooed with ridiculously long hair they were pretty intimidating looking.

"We were just protecting Jared," Chad said as he backed away until he was standing next to Jared and the other guy. "We didn't want to start anything."

"I just wanted to get his number," Jensen said. "That's it. I wasn't trying to hurt him."

"Jared?" The taller guy looked down at Jared. "Did you want to give this," he looked up at Jensen then with a nasty look, "guy your number?"

Jared nodded.

"Okay," he very gently released Jared. "Come on Chad let's pay our tab so we can get out of here."

"But Jeff," Chad all but whined.

"Leave it," Jeff said. He grabbed Chad by the arm and pulled him towards the bar.

"Look I..."

Jared grabbed a napkin off if the nearest table and scrawled his number down onto it. "Sorry about that," he whispered as he past Jensen the number.

"You weren't kidding when you said they were protective of you," Jensen said as he took the number.

Jared looked back over to where Jeff and Chad were leaning against the bar. "It was nice meeting you Jensen," he finally mumbled before rushing over to the other two men.

"What the fuck was that all about?" Steve asked once the other three guys had left the bar.

"I have no clue," Jensen whispered.

"Look man we've got to get going. I already paid all of our tabs while you were talking to that guy..."

"His names Jared," Jensen said cutting Chris off. "And you didn't have to do that. Tonight was supposed to be my treat remember?"

"I remember," Chris sighed. "You can pay me back later."

"Fine," Jensen huffed. "Let's head on out."

Even though Jensen had been excited for the concert earlier in the day now he just wants to go home and crash. He's feeling the strain he had been putting on his body for the last few days. He feels old. Older than his twenty nine years. Half way through the concert he starts to think Chris and Steve were right. Maybe he does need to cut back on his life style. But then a attractive guy saunters over to him and all he can think is fuck that. His life is pretty damn good as it is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jared and Jensen meet. I had a whole other idea for how I wanted them to meet for the first time but I couldn't help but insert protective Chad and Jeff. The next chapter is going to be Jared's point of view of their first meeting.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared's point of view of the night at the bar.

Jared really didn't want to go to the bar. There were tons of things he rather be doing. Like cleaning his house or drinking bleach.

"Stop it," Jeff snapped.

"Stop what?"

"I know that face. I know what thoughts go along with that face."

"You don't know what you are talking about," Jared grumbled. He crossed his arms over his chest and stared out the window. "Why couldn't we have just stayed in Canton? You know how I feel about Dallas."

"Canton's bars are shit. Besides you promised Chad you'd come out one day and see him. You wanna take that promise back?"

Jared huffed and looked out the window. As the houses flew past he started to recognize where they were. Fear started to pool in the pit of his stomach. With the fear came the panic attack. It felt like he couldn't breathe, like someone had a vice grip on his lungs. A sob was ripped from his throat and he had the over powering urge to throw up. He heard Jeff curse next to him.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I wasn't thinking. I'm so sorry."

"Jeff, can you please pull over?"

"Here? On this street? But..."

"I am going to be sick."

With that Jeff pulled the car over to the curb. Before it had even come to a complete stop Jared threw the car down open and lost the contents of his stomach unto the curb. The bile burned his throat and left him hacking and spitting onto the street. After several dry heaves Jared felt well enough to close the door to the car.

"Drive through here as fast as you can," he mumbled slouching down into the seat.

"You wanna go home?" Jeff asked as he sped the car away from the curb and down the street. "'Cause I can call Chad and tell him you're not feeling well."

"I just want to get extremely drunk."

"Okay, okay. I'll be your designated driver tonight. But only because I feel like an asshat for not realizing where I was going."

By the time they got to the bar it was extremely crowded. Add that to the fact that Jared's mouth tasted like vomit he was almost positive it was going to be a bad night. Chad greeted them with beers which Jared downed in one long gulp.

"Hi?" Chad said shooting a glance at Jeff.

"Went down Whitmore," he whispered.

Chad punched Jeff rather hard in the arm. "You are an idiot," he hissed.

"I wasn't thinking," he shouted, rubbing his sore arm.

"I'm standing right you," Jared growled. "I'm fine now. I just want to get extremely drunk."

Chad pushed his untouched beer towards Jared. "Bottoms up man," he said with a smile. "I'll just go get myself another one."

Jared slammed the empty beer glass down. "Get me one too."

Jeff placed his hand on Jared's shoulder. "You gotta slow down there. You have to work in the morning."

"A hangover isn't the worse thing I've shown up at my job with," he mumbled. He felt his brother flinch and remove his hand from his shoulder. "Sorry."

"Have you been seeing that therapist I recommended?"

"Can't afford it at the moment. I missed so much work after... after everything that I lost some of my benefits."

"I'll pay for it."

"No I'll find a way. You've done enough for me as it is. I already don't know how I am ever going to repay you."

"You staying healthy and alive is payment enough," Jeff said. He placed a hand on Jared's shoulder again. "You're my baby brother and I just want to see you getting better. Bottling it up the way you are isn't going to help."

Jared wiped the tear that escaped away. "Thanks Jeff," he whispered.

"No problem," he said pulling Jared into a hug.

"Everything good over here?" Chad asked as he walked up behind them.

"Yeah we're good," Jeff mumbled. He stepped back from Jared, giving him a soft pat on the back before he did. "I'm going to go steal that table over there."

"We'll meet you over there in a minute," Chad called as he passed Jared his beer. "You okay?"

"I'm good," he affirmed.

"You want to talk about it?"

Jared took a long sip of his beer. "Not really," he finally mumbled.

Chad put his arm around Jared's shoulder. "How you liking Canton?"

"It's no Dallas. But I guess that's the point."

"And work? Has that situation gotten any better?"

"Nope. Still haven't been promoted back to my old job. But I think I'm okay with that for right now. Not making as much as I was before but I also don't have as much responsibility. I think once I am one hundred percent again I'll talk to someone about it."

Chad nodded his head and released Jared. "So you're seeing a therapist?"

"No," Jared laughed. When Chad gave him a look he grinned. "Jeff asked me the same thing."

"We're both just trying to make sure your..."

"Yeah I know. I'll get there eventually. But it's going to be baby steps."

"I know," Chad whispered. He took a sip of his beer then scowled. "There is a guy at the bar staring at you."

Jared tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. "You sure he's staring at me?"

"He's getting up," Chad growled. "He's coming this way."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. And he's here," Chad mumbled. "What do you want?" He sneered jumping in front of Jared.

"I just want to meet your friend," the guy told him trying to push past.

"Nope," he growled pushing him back.

"What is your deal?" The guy growled back.

"What's my deal?" He mocked. "You smell like a distillery. And sex. And everything that I don't want near my friend."

"Chad," Jared said finally. "It's fine."

"No it's not," he barked. "It's not fine. I'm not going to let you..."

"I'm a big boy, Chad, I can take care of myself."

"Jared..."

"Hi I'm Jensen," he cut off offering his hand to Jared.

Jared turned fully to Jensen and he got his first look at him. He was a few inches shorter then Jared with sandy blonde hair that was spiked. He was extremely good looking with pouty lips. Jared dropped his eyes to Jensen hand, a habit that he had picked up after a few bad relationships, and saw that they were large but the knuckles were smooth. He let his eyes drift back up to his face where he found emerald green eyes focused on his.

"Your eyes are beautiful," Jensen blurted out. He clamped a hand over his mouth. "I swear I am not as drunk as I smell."

"Okay," Jared whispered. He shot a look over at Chad before he looked back at Jensen.

"Hi," Jensen said lamely.

"Hi?" Jared shifted uncomfortably under Jensen's gaze. He looked around the room, then back at Chad, then back at Jensen again.

"I'm sorry," Jensen whispered backing away. "I guess this was a bad idea."

"Yeah it was," Chad said pushing in front of Jensen so that he could stand in front of Jared. "Now get lost like I said before."

"Chad," Jared snapped.

"What?" Chad snapped back. He turned to look at Jared.

"Shut up," he snarled. He looked back up at Jensen. "Can I buy you a drink?"

"Really Jared?"

"Shut. Up."

"Fine whatever," Chad grumbled. He moved out of the way and disappeared behind Jared probably to go find Jeff.

"If looks could kill I'd be a dead man," Jensen whispered.

Jared turned to follow Jensen's gaze. With a sigh he turned back. "Sorry about them. They are just really protective over me." Jared pushed some hair behind his ear totally forgetting about his scar over his eye for a minute. When he caught Jensen staring at it he let his hair fall back in his face again. "So how about that drink?"

"Actually I've been cut off by my friends. It's just soda for me for the rest of the time I'm here."

"Oh," Jared whispered. He didn't know why but he suddenly felt disappointed. Maybe his scar scared Jensen off? He was mentally berating himself when Jensen said.

"Yeah. But I could always buy you a drink. If you'd like that?"

Jared nodded his head. "I'd really like that."

Jensen grabbed Jared's hand and led him through the crowd to the bar.  His heart sped up for a moment and he snuck a look back at his brother and best friend. They were both making a move to stand up but when Jared shook his head they sat back down again. Jared turned back to Jensen who was smiling at him.

"Take a seat," he said gesturing to  a chair.

"I'm fine."

"Come on. Sit down and stay awhile," he joked.

"Fine," Jared huffed sitting down.

Jensen proceeded to order himself a coke and Jared another beer. If Chad thought Jensen smelled like a distillery he wondered for a moment what he must smell like. He thought about asking Jensen to just order him a water when the beer was pushed in front of him.

"So," Jared said after he's gotten his beer. "You were saying you were heading out of here?"

"Yeah my friends and I have tickets to a concert." Jensen looked down at his watch. "We've gotta head to the venue in about an hour."

"Cool, cool," Jared whispered. He looked down at the beer in his hand. After so many bad relationships he never felt comfortable looking at people's faces. He felt the awkward pause settling around them and panicked. "So I'm guessing you're not from Dallas," he blurted.

"Nah I'm from San Antonio. But my friend Chris and I drive up this way a lot cause our friend Steve lives here. How about you?"

"I live in Canton. But I'm originally from Dallas. I moved there about a year ago."

"Can I ask why?"

Jared's head snapped up suddenly. How could he have let himself get so comfortable with this stranger? His heart started to race just thinking about why he had to move away from Dallas, away from his family.  He shot a look over to where Chad and Jeff were sitting. Then he looked at Jensen knowing that he wanted an explanation. One that he wasn't comfortable telling him.

"It was nice meeting you," he mumbled as he tried to move away from the bar.

"Wait," Jensen called. He grabbed Jared loosely around the wrist trying to stop his movement. The sound of two chairs violently hitting the ground filled the now eerily quiet bar.

"Get your hands off of him," Jared heard Jeff bellow.

Jared looked up to see the Chad and Jeff standing in front of them. Jeff reached forward and  wrapped his hand around Jensen's and squeezed until he had to let go. Once Jared was out of his grasps Jeff pulled him into his side. Chad shot forward and got up into Jensen's face.

"Don't you ever touch him again," he spat in Jensen's face. "Do I make myself clear?"

"Whoa," Jensen stuttered. He took a step back and connected with someone behind him. When he turned to see who it was his face relaxed a bit.

"What's going on here?" Steve asked.

Chad backed away from Jensen. Jared knew that Chad was protective of him but he wasn't stupid. The two guys behind Jensen could take Chad down no problem even though they were smaller than him by a few inches.

"We were just protecting Jared," Chad said as he backed away until he was standing next to Jared and Jeff. "We didn't want to start anything."

"I just wanted to get him number," Jensen said. "That's it. I wasn't trying to hurt him."

"Jared?" Jeff looked down at Jared. "Did you want to give this," he looked up at Jensen then with a nasty look, "guy your number?"

Jared nodded. He didn't know why he did but he really did. Jensen was nice to him. He didn't know why his question freaked Jared out so much. He didn't even do anything wrong. But Jared always went straight into flight whenever his fight or flight instincts kicked in.

"Okay," he very gently released Jared. "Come on Chad let's pay our tab so we can get out of here."

"But Jeff," Chad all but whined.

"Leave it," Jeff said. He grabbed Chad by the arm and pulled him towards the bar.

"Look I..."

Jared grabbed a napkin off of the nearest table and scrawled his number down onto it. "Sorry about that," he whispered as he passed Jensen the number.

"You weren't kidding when you said they were protective of you," Jensen said as he took the number.

Jared looked back over to where Jeff and Chad were leaning against the bar. "It was nice meeting you Jensen," he finally mumbled before rushing over to Jeff and Chad.

When Chad saw him he grabbed him very gingerly by the arm and pulled him out of the bar. He released Jared the moment they were in the street.

"What the hell was that all about?" He shouted.

"I didn't do anything. He didn't do anything."

"You tried to run away from him," Jeff pointed out. "Obviously he did something."

Jared looked down at the pavement. "He asked me why I moved to Canton and I panicked."

"Oh," Jeff sighed. He pulled Jared into his side and started making his way to the car. "You didn't know what to say to him and you panicked?"

"My fight or flight kicked in so I ran."

Chad sighed. "You want to come back to my place? We can watch stupid movies and just forget about tonight."

"I just want to go home," Jared whispered.

"Okay." Jeff unlocked the car door. Once they were settled in he rolled down his window. "We'll see you later," he called to Chad as they pulled out of the parking lot and headed for Canton.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I was writing this I was wondering how much I should reveal in Jared's inner monologs and decided against revealing too much. But there will be more from Jared coming up in the next chapter so I guess that's good. Hopefully? Maybe? The more I write protective Jeff and Chad the more I like the characters.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared's ready to start his baby steps to recovery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are my own

Jared couldn't tell you why he was so disappointed when Jensen never called him. A week had passed since they met at the bar but there was zero communication from the other man. Maybe, he thought as he sat at his desk at work, Jensen really was drunker then he thought. It wouldn't be the first time that that sort of thing happened to Jared. In fact that is exactly how his last relationship happened. Mark was a little too drunk when they met so he took Jared home with him. But in reality Mark was always a little too drunk whenever he was around Jared and he'd used that as an excuse to stick around. In vain he thought he could help Mark with his drinking and sober him up. Instead Jared got another scar and a restraining order out of it.

As if his thought process and the scar on his forehead were connected Jared started to get a searing headache. A steady pounding began in the front of his head causing his eyes to burn whenever he looked at one of the lights. He knew his doctor told him that this was one of the side effects of the head trauma he received so he stood up and made his way to his bosses office. After he knocked he pushed the door open.

"Can I help you Jared?" His boss asked when he saw him.

"I think I need to go home."

"Is your head bothering you again?"

"Yes sir," he mumbled. He squeezed his eyes shut trying to get the pounding to go away.

"Do you need someone to drive you home?" His boss asked. He had gotten out of his chair so that he could visually inspect Jared. "You need me to get you to the hospital?"

Jared shook his head. "I'll be fine."  
"You sure? I don't like Danny will mind driving you home."

"I walked here today anyways so I won't be behind the wheel. I don't like more than a five minute walk."

"Okay," his boss stepped back. He gave Jared a quick once over before nodding his head. "If you're not okay to come in tomorrow I want you to call out."

"But I..."

"No buts Jared," he cut off harshly. "I understand you feel like you are behind but you'll catch up eventually. Besides I'd rather you be slightly behind then overworked."

"Thank you sir," Jared whispered. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Only if you are better," he shouted after him.

"Of course," he affirmed.

Jared moved back to his desk and collected his things. He slipped a pair of sunglasses that he stored in his desk and thanked whatever deity was listening that he remembered to have them there. When he pushed the door open to the office building he had to stop in the shade so that he could let his eyes adjust to the sun. He had just started walking when he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. Frowning he pulled the phone out and looked at the text message.

_I'm really bad at this. Sorry I haven't contacted you._

 Jared stopped his walking and looked down at the phone. A spike of fear ran through his veins thinking of who could possibly be texting him. He had changed his number after Mark and there was no way Dan could have known his number either. His phone buzzed again.

_Uh it's Jensen by the way._

Smiling Jared quickly saved Jensen's number in his phone so that he wouldn't get afraid again. Once it was saved in the phone he texted back:

_That's fine. Don't worry about it. How have you been?_

Not expecting another texted for a while he started to finish his walk again. He had only made it a few steps when his phone buzzed again.

_Shitty. My job just laid off a bunch of people so I've been really busy the last week. How about you?_

Jared put his phone back in his pocket and finished his walk home. After he let himself in, downed several pain killers and collapsed onto the couch he fished his phone back out of his pocket. He stared down at the text message trying to think of what he should tell Jensen. Does he tell him the truth? Does he tell him everything is fine? Does he... His phone buzzed again.

_Sorry if I over stepped boundaries. Like I said I don't usually do something like this._

Something like this? What is this?

_That's fine. I've been okay. Not feeling the best right now though._

Buzz

_You're sick?_

_No I tend to get migraines._

Buzz

_Because of that scar?_

Buzz

_Sorry, sorry over stepping boundaries again._

_No you're right it's because of the scar. Mild head trauma that still acts up every now and then._

There was a longer pause between text messages. Jared looked back at his last text and mentally kicked himself for mentioning his head trauma.

Buzz

_Sorry to hear that. I'm going to be in Dallas this weekend. You think you'd be up to meeting me?_

That gave Jared pause. Was he up to meeting Jensen? Everything about him screamed safe but was that worth trying to date him? It had already been a year since his relationship with Mark. Wasn't that enough time for him? Was there such thing as enough time?

_I'd really like that._

He sent the text quickly so that he couldn't chicken out. When no reply came right away he threw the phone to the end of the couch and pulled his legs up to his chest. Then another thought occurred to him. He scrambled forward, scrolled through his contacts and called Jeff.

"Everything okay?" Jeff asked his voice rising with panic.

"I've got a bit of a head ache but otherwise I am fine," Jared sighed.

"You sure?"

"Yes Jeff, I am sure. But that not why I am calling."

"What's up baby brother?"

"Could you give me that number for the therapist again?"

"Yeah of course," Jeff confirmed.

"Thanks," Jared mumbled.

Jeff rattled off the number so that Jared could write it down. After he'd repeated the number three times just to make sure Jared got it write he asked: "Not that I am not excited that you are taking this step but why now?"

"I just think it's time that I start moving forward," Jared replied softly. "I want to be happy."

"Good, good. Talk to you soon?"

"Of course."

"Okay. Have a good night Jared."

"You too," Jared said.

The second he disconnected the call with Jeff his phone went off again.

_Is next Friday alright?_

_Next Friday is perfect. Where do you want to meet?_

Buzz

_The bar we met?_

_That could work. 7 o'clock alright?_

Buzz

_7 o'clock would be perfect. I'll see you then =)_

The rest of the night Jared couldn't keep the smile off of his face. Even when he called the therapist to set up an appointment the smile stayed there. He couldn't help but feel like maybe life was actually going in the right direction again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone asked how many bad relationships Jared has been in and the answer is three. Started with Sam then it went to Dan and finally Mark. But I'll go further into it in later chapters.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize ahead of time for this chapter. All mistakes are mine.

Jensen was glad he decided to text Jared after all. He'd spent a week with the napkin in his jacket pocket. Sometimes he'd take it out just to stare at it and decide whether or not he should just throw it out. When he finally relented he decided texting was a better idea then calling. And he will always be grateful that he did. The conversation turned out to be a bit stilted and he placed his metaphoric foot in his mouth a few times but when Jared agreed to meet him he couldn't help but feel overjoyed.  

Now though was a completely different story. Jensen was sitting at a table in the bar by himself waiting for Jared. It was well past seven and Jensen was starting to think that the younger man had stood him up. He waited a few more minutes and was about to give up and leave when Jared came hurriedly into the bar.

"I'm so incredibly sorry," he panted once he located Jensen. "I got held up with my therapist."

Jensen felt his brain short circuit for a minute. Jared saw a therapist? Did it have anything to do with the scar on his forehead.

"That was incredibly forward," he heard Jared saying.  

Jensen shot his head up. "No it wasn't," he defended quickly. "I'm just glad you showed up."

"I tried texting," he said as he sat down on the chair, "but my phone decided to die and I didn't have my charger in my car. I think I left it in my brothers car and..." Jared turned a bright red and shut his mouth. "I'm sorry I'm rambling."

"It's kind of cute," Jensen told him.

Jared dropped his head and stared at the table. When he looked back up Jensen could see the blush that had settled on his cheeks. "Not everyone thinks so."

"Well then they are idiots."

An awkward silence settled around them. Jared dropped his head back down, concentrating heavily on a grain of salt that he was pushing around with his finger. Jensen had a feeling that he was going to have to find a way to end the silence or he was going to lose Jared for the rest of the night.

"So what is it you do?" He finally asked.

"I work as a social worker in Canton. I work mostly with woman or men of abuse. Or at least I used to work with them. Now I mostly do paper work for other people."

"How come you no longer work directly with people?"

Jared frowned. "I had to miss a lot  of time last year at my last office so they decided to demote me a bit. It was a way to not cause too much extra pressure on my life."

"Can I ask why you missed time last year or is that over stepping first date banter?"

"First date?" Jared whispered.

"I mean, if you want it to be a date. If not then this can just be two new friends hanging out. I'm good with whatever you think is better," Jensen rambled. He looked around the room then suddenly jumped to his feet. "I'll be right back."

Jensen leaned against the bar and singled for the bartender.

"What can I get you?" The young girl asked. She leaned forward which cause her cleavage to become more pronounced.

"Except for your number?" Jensen teased.

The bartender snagged a napkin from the bar and wrote her number down onto it along with her name. "Anything else?" She asked.

Jensen turned back to the table in time to see Jared rushing out of the bar. He turned back to the girl, shoved her number in his pocket then smiled. "One beer would be nice."

"Sure thing sweetheart," she drawled turning away so she could fill up a glass.

Jensen leaned against the bar and tried to clamp down the dread that was pooling in his stomach. It was clear that whatever he had going with Jared wasn't going anywhere tonight so why should he feel so bad?

"Here you go," the bartender said as she slid the beer across the bar. "Anything else?"

"No," Jensen mumbled. He past the bartender some money. "Keep the change."

He turned away from the bar and walked back over to the table he had been sitting at with Jared. A part of him was hoping that Jared left a note behind but another part of him knew that it was just wishful thinking. Instead the table was clear besides for the piece of salt Jared had been playing with.

"I'm such an idiot," he whispered to himself.

Jensen finished his beer, threw the number of the bartender down on the table then left the bar. He stepped out into the night air and stared up at the sky. A light breeze stirred and Jensen collapsed down onto the bench that was a little ways down the sidewalk. He placed his hands in between his knees and dropped his head. Suddenly the sound of his phone cut through the night air and Jensen scrambled to pick it up.

"How'd it go?" Chris asked foregoing an actual greeting.

"I screwed up," Jensen whispered. "I freaked out. Bolted from the table then openly flirted with the bartender right in front of his face."

"What'd he do?"

"He left."

"He just got up and left?"

Jensen sat back on the bench and sighed. "Yeah," he whispered. "He just bolted from the bar. I don't even know what I was thinking. The night wasn't going exactly well but we were getting along and WHAM! dick Jensen just came out of nowhere. I didn't even realize what I was doing until he was gone."

"You've got to call him and explain," Chris told him.

"What am I supposed to say?"

"I don't know but you've got to say something. I mean you actually attempted to have a date with this guy. That has to mean something."

"I think something happened to him. Something bad," Jensen confided. "There is just something about him."

"What do you mean something bad?"

"Like an accident or something; I don't know."

"You're drawn to him, aren't you?"

"I keep putting my foot in my mouth whenever I talk to him. He makes me flustered. I just want to hide him from the rest of the world. I've never felt like this about anyone," Jensen admitted.

"Not even with Caleb?" Chris asked.

"Especially with Caleb. I don't even want to have sex with him. I just want..."

"What do you want Jen?"

"I just want to be with him."

"You want to date him?"

Jensen nodded his head before remembering that Chris couldn't actually see him. "Yeah, Chris, I want to date him."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what happened. It just kind of got away from me a little bit. I wanted it to be this adorable first date but then Jensen ended up being a dick. Sorry. I promise it will get better.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine.

Jared knew he was an idiot. Sam, Cam and Mark  all proved that to him. But he was positive Jensen was different. Every part of him told him that Jensen wasn't going to treat him the way they did. He knew the date wasn't going well but he didn't think it was going THAT bad. But there Jensen was openly flirting with the bartender. Jared didn't even think he just jumped out of the chair and left the bar.

"Jared?" Chad said for probably the hundredth time.

"What?" Jared asked snapping out of his inner monolog.

"Did you hear anything I just said?"

"No," Jared admitted. "I was in my own head space."

"You okay?" Chad reached across the table and placed a hand on Jared's. "You've been acting all weird lately."

"Am I too trusting?"

Chad, who'd been in the middle of sipping his drink, nearly choked. "Why do you ask?"

"Do you remember Jensen?"

"The guy from the bar?"

Jared nodded. "Yeah that one. He asked me out on a date."

Chad shot up in his seat. "What?" He growled. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I knew you would act like this."

Chad sighed and tried to relax his posture. When he failed he settled with just releasing the iron grip he had on Jared's hand. "How did it go?"

"He flirted with the female bartender right in front of my face."

"Told you he is a cretin," Chad said.

"I thought he was different," Jared whispered almost inaudibly.

"What was that?"

"I thought he was different," Jared snapped. "I thought he wasn't going to treat me badly. He seemed so nice the first night I met him and then he was so timid while we were setting up our plans so I thought..."

"Jared," Chad sighed. "You've been through so much already. Why do you want to put yourself out there again? Why don't you just focus on work, go to your therapist, and just live your life?"

"Why can't I want someone to live my life with?"

"Because you try to fix people too much. Mark was a drunk so you needed to fix him. Cam was a criminal so he needed to be fixed. Sam was..."

"Can we never speak of Sam please?" Jared whispered.

"Have you told your therapist about him?"

Jared shook his head.

"How are you planning on getting passed you past if you don't talk about him?" Chad asked. He took Jared's hand in his again. "I understand..."

"No you don't understand," Jared snapped. "No one understand what that feels like. I didn't even get to see it, Chad. It was barely a thought in my head before it was ripped out of my life. How can you ever say that you understand when you've never felt that before?"

"Jared, I..."

"No," he shouted. He stood up, his chair falling to the ground with an ugly smack. "I need to get out of here."

"Jared," Chad shouted after him.

Without looking back Jared ran from the restaurant and onto the side walk. After running for a while Chad's hand clamped down on Jared's shoulder. He pulled Jared into his arms and held him.

"You're right I don't understand what it feels like," he whispered. "But this isn't healthy. You need to talk to someone about this. Please promise me you will talk to your therapist about this."

"I promise," Jared sobbed. "I'm sorry I embarrassed you."

"You could never embarrass me Jared," he soothed. "I was out of line. I should be the one apologizing to you."

Jared stepped back out of Chad's arms. He ran the back of his hand over his face, clearing the tears and snot. Chad gave him a gentle slap on the shoulder.

"You ready to head to your appointment?" He asked.

"You don't need to drive me," Jared mumbled. "I can walk."

"I want to drive you. And I want to wait in the waiting room then I want to drive you to your favorite restaurant and take you out to dinner. Then I am going to sleep on your couch tonight because I'm staying with you until you go back to work."

"You really don't have to do all of that."

"But I want too. You see Jared, I am your best friend," he said as he began leading Jared towards his car, "and as your best friend I plan on attaching myself like a leech to you for the next few days because I want to hang out with you. Seeing as Dallas will probably never be anywhere near your top places to visit I know the only way I can hang out with you is if I spend all my time here in Canton. Savvy?"

Jared sighed. "And I have no choice in the matter?"

"You have plenty. But I'm just warning you now if you don't let me sleep on your couch I'm going to buy a tent and sleep in your front yard."

"Fine," Jared huffed. He rolled his eyes then threw his arms around Chad's neck and hugged him. "You're a really good friend Chad."

"I know, I know."

***

Dr. Hendricks looked at Jared over his half rimmed glasses. The heavy set man uncrossed his legs and crossed them again. He sighed and sat forward in his chair a bit. "You've told me about your past two relationships but I feel like you are holding something back. If you're comfortable enough I'd really like to discuss what that is."

Jared swallowed loudly. "When I was sixteen I was in a extremely abusive relationship with someone."

"I see," Dr. Hendricks mumbled as he scribbled something down on his note pad. "How did you get out of it?"

"He was put in jail after beating me half to death and causing me to miscarry," Jared whispered.

Dr. Hendricks sat back in his chair. "You're a carrier? How does that make you feel?"

"I love being a carrier. When I found out that it was possible I...I was ecstatic. I want my own family. I want to carry my own children."

"So you were happy when you found out you were pregnant?"

"I was sixteen. I was petrified. But yes I was also excited. And I thought my ex would be too. I thought I would get the kind, loving guy I started dating back when I told him about the baby. Instead I nearly died."

"How did you feel when you lost the baby?"

"I wanted to die. I begged my brother not to call the cops. I wanted to bleed out on the floor and just..." A sob racked through Jared's body. "That baby was my future. It was everything I had ever wanted. I'd known about it for exactly one hour before it was ripped out of my life. I didn't see the point to living."

Dr. Hendricks leaned back and picked up a box of tissues. After Jared had taken one he placed it on the table in front of them. "How does thinking of the baby make you feel now?"

"Hollow," Jared whispered. "Like there is something missing from my life."

"Hmm," the doctor hummed. "The last we spoke you were meeting with a man. How did that go for you?"

"Horrible," Jared laughed. "I ended leaving because he was flirting openly with the bartender."

"How did that make you feel?"

"Like an idiot. I assumed he was a good guy. I assumed he was different then the other. But you know what they say about assuming."

"Did you let him explain himself?"

"What was there to explain? The date wasn't going so well so he showed me I didn't really matter to him."

"So this was a date?"

"I don't know. He asked me if it was then bolted. I never really got a chance to hash it out with him."

"Has he tried to contact you since?"

"A few calls and some texts. But I just deleted them the moment they came in or didn't answer his calls. I've been humiliated enough for one life time."

"I think you should answer his calls next time he tries to contact you," the doctor stated.

"You...I...what?" Jared stuttered. "You want to me to give him a chance?"

"You felt comfortable enough with him that you went on a date with him. From what I have gathered you don't gravitate to people easily. I know you'd like to think that you do but it took you almost two months of us meeting before you told me about your miscarriage. You need to trust people before you open up to them. Obviously you trust this guy."

"So you think I should give him a chance? That if he calls me again I should accept it?"

"Yes," the doctor took his glasses off and gave Jared a soft look. "Give him a chance."

Jared nodded. Give him a chance. He supposed he could do that.

"I think I can try," he finally whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep updating at such a fast pace because I have so much stuff whirling around in my head for this story. I basically write them then post them. Next chapter will be up tomorrow afternoon. Maybe an update or two afterwards =)  
> Also you guys have been really nice to me about this. I enjoy reading all your comments telling me that it is really good. I've never been comfortable with letting other people read my writing but with the all the nice comments I am starting to think that it might be alright. So thanks.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine.

_How have you been?_

No answer.

_Did you maybe want to grab a beer with me sometime?_

No answer.

_Look Jared I am really sorry for what I did. Can we please talk?_

No answer.

Three weeks of texting and Jared still wouldn't answer Jensen. It was starting to make him feel like a fool. This was Jensen, commitment phobe Jensen, the guy who only had one night stands since he was eighteen. The guy who fell in love, got his heart ripped out of his chest, and gave up on ever finding someone to live his life with.  Now he was continuingly texting someone like a creepy stalker. He'd even tried calling the guy only to get radio static.

Jensen sat back in his chair and stared at his client. He didn't have the heart to tell him that no one wanted to pick him up again this year. It was sad to see such a young kid getting pushed aside the way he was because he wasn't as big as all the others.

"Please tell me you've got some good news this time," Robert pleaded. "I don't think I can take another year of this."

"There are no offers on the table at this time," Jensen confesses. "But it's still early. Someone can always show some interest."

"That's what you said last year," he mumbled. He leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. "What am I going to tell my wife?"

"Can we talk about you putting your contract out to smaller teams? Maybe some independent leagues or international?"

"How much can I make in the independent leagues?"

"If we're lucky I can get you a contract where you can make six hundred dollars a month. I know it's not a lot but..."

"Yeah," Robert whispered. "It's better than nothing."

"You're still young Robbie," Jensen reassured him.

Robert ran his hand down his face. "Six hundred dollars a month?"

"If we're lucky."

"Just... yeah fine. Circulate it through the independent leagues. But I'd really like to stay states side. Don't want to uproot my wife right now."

"How's the pregnancy going?"

"It's rough," Robert confessed. He sat up in his chair again. "The twins are really taking their toll on her. Not that she'd ever admit to it. Still insists on going to work."

"Well if anyone can get through a difficult pregnancy it's your wife. Tell her I said 'hi', would ya?"

"I'll get her to give you a call," Robert said as he stood up. "Thanks Jensen."

Jensen stood and shook his clients hand. "No problem. I'll call you if I get any updates."

Robert just nodded and exited the office.

Jensen sat back down in his chair and sighed heavily. Fishing his phone out of the desk he sent Jared what was probably his thousandth text message.

_Just had to tell my client no one wants to sign him for the third year in a row. How's your day going?_

Not expecting a reply he stashed his phone back into his desk. He turned in his chair, angling himself so that he was in front of his computer and started sending off email to all his contacts in the independent leagues. He was on his third email when he heard his phone beep. Thinking it had to have been Steve or Chris he fished the phone back out so he could read the text. It was from Jared.

_Sorry to hear that. My day's been pretty good. Got a chance to meet with some people because another social worker was out._

Jensen had no idea how long he sat there staring at the text message. Three weeks of nothing and now Jared was answering him? What changed? Deciding not to dwell on the facts he responded.

_That's good to hear. Look I'm sorry about that night. I haven't been on a date in like ten years. Guess I forget proper etiquette._

Beep

_So that was a date?_

_Poor excuse for one but I guess so. Can I make it up to you?_

There was a longer pause in text messages this time. The longer he went on answered the more Jensen wanted to kick himself. Finally, after five minutes or so, his phone went off again.

_I'd like that. But is it possible we can meet in Canton this time?_

Turning back to his computer Jensen searched all the local restaurants and bars in Canton. Once he found one he thought would be good he sent Jared a message back asking him if Saturday night at six was okay.

Beep

_Sounds perfect. I'll see you then._

Jensen stared down at the message trying really hard to suppress his need to celebrate. Instead he picked his phone up and called Chris.

"He answered me," he shouted into the phone foregoing a greeting. "He answered me and we're going out on Saturday."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Jared answered my text message. He agreed to meet with me. And I'm uncharacteristically happy right now."

"I'm happy for you Jensen. But why are you calling me?"

"It was either this or run up to the roof and scream it," Jensen admitted.

"You're really excited by this. You weren't kidding when you said you wanted to date this guy."

"I've got to go," Jensen rushed. "I have a client coming in at three. I just really needed to share this news with someone."

"No problem," Chris said with a laugh. "And Jensen?"

"Yeah?"

"Please, please, please don't fuck this up."

"I'll try," he whispered.

"I'll talk to you later?"

"Yeah I'll call you later."

After they exchanged some pleasantries Jensen hung up the phone. He looked down at  the phone with a silly smile on his head. He wasn't lying when he said he was uncharacteristically happy. But at the same time he's terrified that he's going to screw it up again. Scared shitless is probably a better way of putting it really.

A knock on the door interrupted his inner musing. He looked up to see his client standing in the doorway.

"Hey Cam," he called out. He stood and shook the young man's hand. "How are you?"

"Pretty good. How is the contact signing going?"

"Cutting right down to business huh?" Jensen laughed. He took a seat and sat down. "You've got offers from three separate teams all for over a million dollars."

"Any of them for a team in the state?"

"No but Oakland is interested. Not that far from here."

"And none of them are complaining about the assault charges?" Cam asked.

"New York is a little worried but only because they are such a high profile team. Other than them Oakland and Miami are willing to over look them."

"Can I see the contracts?"

Jensen turned in his chair and grabbed the stack of paper. He turned back and handed them to Cam.

"How about you take those home and read them over then call me once you've decided?"

Cam nodded his head. "Thanks man," he mumbled. "I'll call you in a few days."

Jensen stood up and shook Cam's hand again. Just like every time he shook his clients hand he notices the scars on his knuckles. If wasn't for the fact that Cam was his highest earning client he would have dumped the spouse abuser a long time ago. It still made Jensen sick to his stomach to know that he caused physical pain to someone that loved and trusted him.

"I'll talk to you in a few days," he mumbled curtly.

"Thanks again Jensen," Cam called as he exited the office.

Jensen collapsed into his chair. All of a sudden he felt extremely tired. There was just something about meeting with Cam that drained him.

"I really hope whoever he hurt is living a happy life," he whispered to himself. Shaking his head he got back to working on emailing people for Robert.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to everyone who reads this.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter. Kind of a filler chapter.

Chad closed the browser he was using the moment Jared entered the room. He turned to Jared and gave him a stupid smile.

"Hey Jay," he said.

"What were you looking at that you didn't want me to see?"

"I don't know what you are talking about," Chad lied turning back to the computer.

"I saw you exiting the page Chad. Just tell me what it was. Were you watching porn on my computer again?"

"I wasn't looking at porn," Chad defended. He pulled the browser open again and cleared the history.

"Why are you deleting my browser history?"

"Doesn't matter," Chad mumbled. He jumped out of the chair and tried to exit the room.

"Come on," Jared pleaded stepping in front of Chad. "Just tell me what's going on."

"Cam got another contract," Chad whispered.

"What?" Jared shrieked. He rushed forward to his computer and pulled up the browser. He typed in Cam's full name and gaped at the results. "He's making how much?"

"Just over one million dollars," Chad whispered.

"He must have one hell of an agent if he's making that much with his record." Jared scrolled through the article trying to find out the name of his agent. When no one came up he Googled Cam's name. "Is his agent a ghost or something? I can't find his name anywhere."

"Why do you want to know the guys name?"

"I want to send him a fruit basket to thank him for getting Cam out of the state."

"I thought you'd be upset about this," Chad confessed.

"Why would I be upset?"

Chad reached around Jared and exited the browser for Jared. He then spun the chair around and placed his hands on Jared's shoulders. "I thought you'd be upset because no one seems to care about you. He beat you. He put in the hospital after a fight and now he's being treated like a poster boy again. How could you not be upset?"

"You want the truth?"

"Yes."

"I am upset," Jared confessed. "I am upset that he's getting the money. I am upset that because he had physical talent he got away with community service. I am upset that every time I turn on the sports channel I will have to hear his name again. But I understand that there is nothing I can do about it."

"Your therapist is really helping you that much?"

"Yeah," Jared admitted. "I'm still not one hundred percent. I probably never will be but I am working on being marginally better. And isn't that better then falling apart every time I am confronted with something?"

Chad wrapped Jared in a hug. "I'm proud of you," he whispered.

Jared pushed Chad back playfully. "Yeah, yeah man whatever," he mumbled rubbing the back of his neck.

"What are you keeping from me?" Chad questioned. He stepped back and looked Jared up and down.

"Why do you think I am keeping something from you?"

"Will you just tell me?"

"I'm seeing Jensen again," he whispered.

"What?" Chad yelled. "Why? When?"

"Tonight. And in my defense my therapist thinks it is a good idea."

"And you listened to the guy?" Chad started pacing. "The guy hurt you! He made you feel like dirt. Why on earth did you agree to meet with him?"

"I don't know," Jared whispered.

"Is it because he's paying attention to you?"

"No," Jared shrieked jumping out of the chair. "If I dated every guy who was interested in me I would be hundred boyfriends deep and not three."

"Then what is it Jared?"  
"He's different. He makes me feel...safe."

"Safe?"

"Safe," Jared repeated.

Chad sat down in the chair Jared had just vacated. "Safe how?"

"Like he's never going to hurt me. Physically at least," Jared amended when Chad made a face.

"Okay," Chad mumbled nodding his head. "Where are you meeting?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"Cause I am going to sit in a booth near the back with Jeff and scope out the date."

"You better be kidding."

"Nope," Chad said jumping up from the chair.

"Where are you going?" Jared called after him as he left the room.

"To call Jeff," he called back.

"Chad!" Jared yelled as he ran after his friend. "You are not going on my date with me. I am a grown ass man I don't need you and my older brother babysitting me."

"Don't think of it as us babysitting you," Chad said as he held his phone up to his ear. "Just think of it as a double date. Only Jeff and I aren't on a date and we won't be anywhere near you."

"I hate you," Jared yelled as he left Chad.

"I hate you too," Chad yelled back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cam is going to have a bigger role later on in the story. I kept having the idea that one of Jared's exes would cause some problems and Cam seemed like a good one.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mistakes are my own.

Jensen hasn't been a date in a really long time but he knows that this isn't right. He had gotten to the restaurant a few minutes early so he was already sat at the table when Jared showed up. The smile that he felt tugging at his lips disappeared when he noticed that Jared was not alone. Jared stopped just inside the restaurant and whispered to Chad and Jeff before looking up to search for Jensen. When he saw him he rushed forward.

"Hey," he breathed once he was at the table.

Jensen stood up so that he could pull Jared's seat out for him. Once Jared was settled into his chair he sat down himself. "I know it's been a while since I've been on a date but..."

"I'm really sorry about them," Jared mumbled turning to look at Jeff and Chad. "They insisted on coming. I tried to convince them not to but then they look my keys and forced me to drive with them or I wouldn't have made it here."

Jensen looked over at the other two men who were now seated at a table on the other side of the room. "Any particular reason why they decided to tag along?"

Jared mumbled something inaudible.

"I'm sorry I didn't catch that," Jensen teased. He sat forward with his elbows on the table. "You've gotta repeat that for me one more time."

"They don't trust you," he whispered.

Jensen sat back, nodding his head. "Understandable," he said. "I did pull a dick move the last time we met. Which I apologize for again."

Jared nodded and looked down at the table. "You never did tell me what you do for a living," he said.

"I'm a sports agent."

"Oh," Jared mumbled snapping his head up. "Any big names?"

Jensen rubbed the back of his neck. "Cam Tilton."

Jared frowned. "That's...nice," he squeaked.

"I know, I know," Jensen rushed, " the guy is a major creep. I don't even like working with him."

"Then why do you?" Jared asked.

"After the whole abuse case he couldn't get signed by anyone. Even the guys who will pick anyone up for a buck wouldn't take him. He basically begged me to take him on. I get paid more than most agents do because I was willing to deal with him."

"What he did doesn't bother you?"

"Are you kidding me? I hate the guy. I try to do as much business over the phone with him as I possibly can. Which makes me beyond happy that he took the contract in New York."

Jared nodded his head and snuck a look over at Chad and Jeff again. "Did he ever tell you the name of the guy?"

Jensen took a sip of water and shook his head. "He won't talk about it."

"And you didn't look him up yourself?"

"No," Jensen admitted. "I thought about it but I didn't want to put a face to the act, you know?"

Jared nodded.

Jensen reached forward and took Jared's hand in his. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he whispered.

"I know this subject probably upsets you cause of your line of work," Jensen guessed. "Talking about abuse and such."

"Yeah," he agreed.

Jensen took his hand away from Jared's and put it in his lap. "Okay then. Why don't we stray to appropriate first date conversation."

"Like what?"

"I don't know what do people usually talk about on first dates?"

"Tell me about your family?" Jared offered.

"I can do that."

The waitress came over then and asked them if they knew what they wanted to order. Jensen looked down at the menu for the first time and ordered the first thing that caught his eye. Jared on the other hand ordered without even looking down at the menu. When the waitress was gone he looked up at Jensen.

"What?" He asked when he saw the goofy smile on Jensen's face.

"You come here a lot?" Jensen asked laughing.

"Shut up," Jared mumbled ducking his head to no doubt hide his blush.

"So my family?" When Jared nodded Jensen smiled. "It's pretty normal. Two parents who love me no matter what. A older brother who used to make it his job to cause hell in my life and an annoying kid sister who I'll totally deny to my dying breath that she is one of my favorite people in the world. How about you?"

"Well you've met Jeff," Jared said as he pointed over his shoulder at his older brother.

"Yeah, he's a really peach," Jensen mumbled.

"I have an a typical family. Mom and Dad have been together since high school. Had my older brother when they were in their early twenties then me three years later then my little sister two years after that."

The waitress came back and placed their food in front of them. They whispered their thanks then started eating.

"You're brother always been this protective?" Jensen asked after a few minutes of them eating. He snuck a look at Jeff and Chad. The two men were staring daggers at him; both of their food left on touched.

"Pretty much. I...um... I had a pretty hard life as a teenager. After that Jeff made it his life mission to protect me."

"Bullies?"

"You could say that," Jared whispered. He pushed some of his food around the plate.

"I'm guessing you don't like to talk about it much?"

"I don't like talking about it at all."

"That bad?"

Jared nodded.

"Okay then," Jensen said placing he fork down. "How about we ditch the entourage and get out of here?"

"Um." Jared shot a look over his shoulder at his brother and friend. "I don't know."

"Do you trust me Jared?"

Jared's head snapped back around. He had wide eyes and he mouth was opened slightly. He nodded.

"Okay then," Jensen said. He flagged the waitress down, got the check then paid for the meal. "Let's go." He held his hand out to Jared and waited patiently for the younger man to take it.

"They're going to notice," he whispered softly.

"Then we'd better run fast," he whispered back before calmly walking out of the restaurant. He looked behind his shoulder and saw Jeff and Chad getting up from their table. "You sure you trust me?"

Jared nodded again.

"Okay then. Run!" he yelled and broke out into a sprint, pulling Jared with him by the hand.

***

Jared stood in the middle of the hotel room with his arms wrapped around himself. Jensen stood in the doorway of the bathroom staring at him. For someone so tall, Jensen wasn't sure but he would say Jared was over 6'3, Jared managed to make himself look incredibly small. His hair was hanging down into his face, his shoulders were hunched, he just looked so tiny.

"Don't worry," Jensen said as he answered the room.

"I'm n-n-not worried," he stuttered.

Jensen sat down on the bed. "If you think I brought you here because I want to sleep with you, you can wipe that thought out of your head. I just wanted to actually be able talk to you without the fear of your brother and your friend attacking me if I look at you wrong. Besides I am staying here tonight so that I don't have to make the drive home. "

Jared nodded.

"Are you just going to stand there?"

Jared started. He looked around the room then moved slowly over to the chair near a small desk. He sat down heavily and turned the chair so that it faced Jensen.

"I'm really sorry," he whispered. "I'm really bad at this."

"At what?"

"Socializing."

Jensen stared at Jared for a long time. The younger man was spinning in the chair looking around the room instead of at Jensen. The longer they sat in silence the more Jensen wished he could take back his statement earlier. All he wanted to do was pin Jared to the chair and kiss him until they were both panting. When Jensen made a move to sit a little closer to Jared he noticed that the younger man shrank back further into the seat.

"Do I make you nervous?" Jensen whispered.

Jared shook him head.

"Are you sure?"

Jared nodded.

"Jared," Jensen whispered. He stood up and moved closer to him. "Do you want to go home?"

Jared shook his head.

Jensen nodded. "Okay," he moved back to sit on the bed. "So...what's your favorite color?"

"Blue," Jared whispered.

"Mines green."

"Like your eyes," Jared muttered. He put his head down trying to hide his blush. "What's you favorite band?"

"I'm an ACDC fan. Well, really, I like any type of classic rock."

"Really? Me too. But I also like listening to pop and modern rock. I think the only thing I don't listen to is techno."

Jensen nodded. He settled down against the head board so that he could see Jared better. "Why'd you move to Canton?"

Jared tensed up. "I...I needed a new atmosphere. I love Dallas but there were too many bad memories there for me to be able to stay. I was originally going to move to New York but I couldn't bear the thought of leaving my family behind. Not to mention Jeff would have followed me and I didn't want him to uproot his whole life."

"Mhm," Jensen hummed. "Do you like it here?"

"It's been good to me so far. Haven't hit any problems."

Jensen nodded and let his eyes close.

"Would it bother you if I told you I was a carrier?" Jared asked suddenly.

Jensen's eyes shot open. "You're a carrier?"

Jared looked down and nodded his head slightly.

"That's pretty cool," Jensen told him honestly. "Never met anyone who was a carrier. At least I don't think I have. Never really talked to most of the people I've slept with."

"Did you sleep with that bartender?"

Jensen shook his head. "I left it on the table at the bar. I felt like such a dick to do that to you."

"Then why did you do it?"

Jensen shrugged. "I haven't been in a relationship since I was eighteen and the feelings I found I was developing for you, a complete stranger, scared me. So went to me default mode."

Jared nodded. "I know what you mean. To be honest if you hadn't done that I would have found a reason to leave anyways."

"You know I have no idea how old you are," Jensen admitted trying to clear the awkward air.

"I'm twenty five. What about you?"

"Twenty eight."

"You're the same age as Jeff," Jared whispered mostly to himself.

"So...what's your favorite sports team?"

Jensen and Jared continued to talk until Jensen fell asleep on the bed. He guesses Jared must have left short after he fell asleep because he woke up only several minutes later to an empty room. Jensen scrambled out of bed and looked around the room. A note sat on the desk:

_Jen,_

_Tonight was a lot of fun. I really hope we can do this again. Sorry I left without waking you I just thought you wouldn't want to be woken up. Have a good night, hope to hear from you soon._

_Jared_

Jensen smiled when he stared down at the note. But when he read it again part of the note bothered him. 'thought you wouldn't want to be woken up'. Something about the sentence seemed weird. Or maybe he was just tired. He shook his head and went back to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter probably sucked so I am sorry. I know I will probably be able to post a new chapter Friday but I'm not 100% positive I will be able to on Saturday. But I'll try my best.  
> Also: I AM ALMOST AT 1,000 HITS! When I first started writing this I thought I'd be lucky to get 100. You guys make me very happy. =)


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short little filler chapter. All mistakes are my own.

"Are you trying to kill us?" Jeff asked the moment Jared walked through his front door.

"How the hell did you get into my house?" Jared mumbled, trudging tiredly past his brother.

"You gave me a key," Chad said from his spot on the couch.

"Remind me to take that away."

"Where are you going?" Jeff called after him.

"Bed, Jeff. I'm tired."

Jared could hear Chad scramble off the couch so that he could follow Jeff into Jared's room. The two men showed up at his bedroom door at the same time; jostling and fighting trying to be the first one into the room. Eventually they pushed each other hard enough that they both fell to the floor.

"You two done?" Jared asked staring down at them.

"Just tell us where you were," Chad grumbled as he jumped up from the floor.

"I was out."

"Where?"

"Can you guys leave my room? I'd really like to change and go to bed."

Jeff, who was still sitting on the floor, looked up at Jared with a pained look. "You still can't change in front of people? Not even us?"

Jared looked down at his shirt covered torso. He hadn't been shirtless in front of someone since he ended his relationship with Mark.

"You haven't seen the way it looks," he whispered.

"We can take it," Jeff said as he got up off the floor. "Besides, I've seen you worse."

Carefully Jared lifted the hem of his shirt up. When it was up over his head he could hear the intake of breath from both Jeff and Chad.

"Damn," Chad whispered.

"That is what that sadistic bastard was doing to you?" Jeff shouted.

"Jeff," Chad snapped, "you promised."

"Look what he did to him," Jeff snapped back pointing to Jared. "He...he ripped my brother to shreds."

"Jeff!" Chad yelled.

"I can't...why didn't you tell me it was this bad?"

"Because I knew you would react like this," Jared sniffed, trying not to cry.

Jeff stepped forward. "You can't even see the scar," he whispered gesturing to where Jared Caesarian scar used to be.

Jared could feel the tears rolling down his cheeks. "He erased one bad memory and put his own."

"Why didn't you tell me it was this bad?" Jeff asked again.

"All you've done your whole life is try to protect me. I didn't want you to feel like you failed me."

"I wish you had told me."

"I know," Jared sobbed.

"How in the hell is he still walking the streets? How did the police over look this?" Chad asked through his hands. At some point he had sunken onto the bed with his head in his hands. "He should be in jail with that other scum bag."

"He claimed that it wasn't him and since the police didn't have enough proof that the scars were from him all they could do was get me a restraining order."

"That is bullshit," he snapped. He rose from the bed and walked over to Jared. "Those are proof enough that he did something to you. Not to mention the scar on his head from where he hit you with a Vodka bottle."

Jeff placed a hand on Chad's shoulder trying to calm their friends anger. "Getting angry at Jared isn't going to change anything."

"I'm not angry at Jared. I'm angry at everything."

"And I'm really tired. Can I please get some sleep?" Jared asked quietly.

Chad and Jeff nodded in unison.

"We'll talk to you in the morning," Jeff said. He gave Jared a quick hug then exited the room.

"Sorry," Chad whispered as he pulled Jared into a hug. "Get some sleep."

Jared waited until he heard the door shut behind his brother and friend before he finished getting ready for bed. He settled himself into bed, pulled a pillow towards his chest, then cried himself to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why I have decided to torture Jared so much in this story. I promise he will be happy eventually. I'm really hoping to get a longer chapter out later but I don't know how the rest of my day is going to go. If I don't I will be updating again either late tomorrow or Sunday.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are my own.

The sound of an email coming in woke Jensen from his sleep. He looked around only to discover he had fallen asleep at his desk. Sighing heavily he turned the chair so that he could pull the email up and read it.

"Damn," he whispered after reading it a second time. Turning away from the computer he picked up his phone and dialed Robert's number.

"Hey Jen," Robert greeted. "You got some news for me?"

"Do you want the good news or the bad news first?" He asked, the feeling of failure crawling through his belly.

"Hit me with the good news," Robert said.

Jensen sighed deeply. "I got on email from one of the independent teams. They want to hire you."

"That's great!" Robert cheered. He must have ran Jensen's words through his head again because he said quickly: "Wait hire me?"

"They want to offer you the job of their equipment manager. It pays five hundred dollars a month. It's in Texas so you don't have to uproot your family."

"If you were me Jensen, would you take this job?"

"It's better than nothing," Jensen told him honestly. "Do you want me to have them send the contract over?"

Robert sighed. "Okay," he whispered finally. "Call me when the contract comes in?"

"Of course," Jensen said. "I'll talk to you in a few days."

"Thanks again, Jen."

"No problem."

When Robert hung up Jensen turned back to his computer and sent out the email. He was just hitting send when he heard a knock on the door.

"Come in," he yelled out.

The door opened to reveal Jared. He stuck his head in and gave him a sheepish smile.

"Jared?" Jensen jumped up and practically ran to the door. "Hey, man what are you doing here?"

"I had to drive down this way for work and I thought I'd stop by and see you. Is that alright?"

"Of course, of course, come in."

Jared opened the door slowly and stepped into the office.  "You sure it's okay?" He asked quietly.

"I'm not doing anything right now so it is perfectly fine," Jensen reassured him. "Take a seat."

Jared nodded and slowly made his way over to the chair in front of Jensen's desk. He sunk down into the seat and made myself into a smaller person once again. Jensen moved slowly around his desk and sat down in his chair.

"Everything okay?" He asked when Jared sat silently for a long time.

"Yeah," Jared mumbled.

"How have you been, man? We haven't talked in a few days."

"Yeah sorry about that I've been kind of busy. They gave me more of a work load at work."

"Really? That's great. Is that why you are down here?"

"No I had to pick up some papers from the local office. Their computers were down so they couldn't fax them to us."

"Well I'm glad you stopped by here. Today's been pretty boring. To tell you the truth I fell asleep earlier."

Jared laughed. "Your job sounds exciting," he joked.

"I had to tell my favorite client that the only job he's been offered is one as a equipment manager. I wish my job was exciting," Jensen mumbled.

"Is that the one you were telling me about last month?"

"His names Robert Harlem. He's a great kid. He got  draft out of high school but something went wrong so now he's hanging out in limbo. I was hoping I could get him a deal with a independent team but not even any of them like him," Jensen explained. He sighed heavily. "I wish I could give him good news."

"What sport does he play?"

"Baseball. He's a small guy with some power but he had a knee injury a few years ago that everyone is convinced is going to come back. He's had six physicals in three years to prove to everyone he's fine but no one will believe that he's good."

"How old is he?" Jared asked. The longer him and Jensen talked the more he sat up in his chair. It was like watching a frighten turtle coming out of his shell.

"Twenty three. He's got a wife with twin girls on the way."

Jared got a faraway look before nodding his head and looking away from Jensen. For a moment Jensen thought he was going to burst into tears.

"You okay Jared?" Jensen asked. He stood up and moved so he was crouching in front of Jared. "Is something wrong?"

"I'm good," Jared mumbled. He cleared his throat and wiped the tears that had managed to fall away. "Sorry. How totally lame is it that I am crying right now?"

"It's fine," Jensen said running his hand up and down Jared's arm. "You want to talk about it?"

Jared shook his head.

"You sure?"

"I just...I just...I..." Jared sobbed.

"Hey," Jensen whispered. "It's okay. If you don't want to tell me you don't have to."

Jared shook his head. "No I want to tell you. Just give me a moment okay?"

"Take as much time as you need."

Jensen kept rubbing the younger mans arm until he could feel him calming down. With his head bent, hair falling into his face, Jared took a steadying breath.

"I wasn't completely honest about my past," he whispered. "I wasn't bullied I was..."

"Jensen, man, I...Jared?" Cam said as he burst into Jensen's office.

Jensen jumped up from his spot on the floor and Jared scrambled to stand behind the desk.

"You two know each other?" Jensen asked looking between Cam and Jared.

"You could say that," Cam sneered.

"I should go," Jared mumbled trying to get past Jensen.

"Jared, wait," Jensen called after Jared as he ran out of the room.

"Let him go. He's not worth it."

"Not worth it?" He turned back to Cam with a scowl on his face. "How do you know him?"

"How do YOU know him?" Cam shot back.

"We're friends."

Cam rolled his eyes. "That's nice. We used to date."

"You dated Jared?"

Cam nodded, a wide Cheshire cat smile on his face. "You have to ask him about that. I don't like to talk about that time in my life."

"That time of your life? What does that mean?"

"Can we just discuss my contract please, Jensen? I don't pay you to talk to me about my past," Cam sneered. "So can we just get down to business, please?"

"Of course, take a seat," Jensen mumbled.

Cam talked Jensen's ear off for almost two hours about all the things he was disappointed the team didn't put in his contract. It took Jensen another hour to convince Cam that he would try his best to get them put in.

"We all good?" Jensen asked three hours later.

"Yeah, man, we're good." Cam stood and started moving towards the door. "Hey Jensen?"

"Hmm?" Jensen hummed in response.

"Don't bother with Jared," he said as he opened the door. "Guys nothing but a loser. Totally not worth it." And with that he left the room.

"Asshole," he yelled at his closes door.

Jensen shot up from his chair and started pacing. How did Jared know Cam? Could Jared be...? He stopped pacing suddenly, a disturbing thought popping into his head. Was Jared...did Cam...Jensen shot forward and grabbed his cell phone. After the third ring Jared answered.

"Where are you?" He asked before Jared could say anything.

"I'm in my car heading home. Sorry I..."

"I'm going to meet you in Canton, okay? I think we need to talk."

"O-okay," Jared stuttered. "See you in a few hours then."

Jensen grabbed his coat, keys, and wallet and ran out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said earlier I might not be able to post tomorrow so I hope this chapter will make up for that.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are my own

Jared felt like throwing up. He still couldn't believe that Cam had shown up at Jensen's office. He'd been positive the man had flown to New York after getting his big contract. But that was what Cam did; always proved him wrong.

He knew he should have told Jensen about Cam. The man that he had been dating for two months was representing a man who had terrorized Jared for months before anyone had found out. But the idea of Jensen dropping such a big client just for him made Jared feel selfish. What would happen to Robert and his family if Jensen lost Cam's business?  

When the doorbell rang Jared was surprised that he didn't literally jump out of his own skin. He moved to the door and looked in the peep hole. Jensen stood on the other side of the door, his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his jacket.

"Hi," Jared said as the door swung open.

"Hey," Jensen whispered. When Jared moved out of his way he entered the house. "Nice little place you've got here."

"Thanks."

"Can we..."

"Sit?" Jared offered.

Jensen nodded.

"Just follow me," he called over his shoulder.

Jensen followed slowly behind him looking around. As he entered the room a small smile grew on his face.

"Should have known you'd be here," he said to Jeff who was sat on the couch.

"My little brother called me crying. What would you have done?"

"I'm not complaining," Jensen said defensively.

Jeff huffed out a breath. "Why'd you want to meet with Jared so late at night?"

"I wanted to talk to him," Jensen said, lowering himself down on the other side of the couch.

"Wanted to talk to him about Cam?"

"Yeah."

Jeff reached forward and grabbed the stack of papers that were on the table then dropped them in Jensen's lap. "That is everything you need to know about Cam and Jared's relationship."

Jared watched as Jensen opened the file and started reading. He, along with Chad and Jeff, knew the file extremely well. It read like any other assault file Jared had ever read except it had his name plastered all over it. Spouse went a little too far one night during a fight. Cops called by a neighbor on noise disturbance only to find one member of said fight bruised up. One Cam Tilton took into custody on a battery charge only to be released on bail about three hours later. No restraining order. No jail time. Sixty hours of community serves and a slap on the wrist.

"Why didn't you tell me about this?" Jensen asked after he read the last page.

Jared shrugged. "It didn't matter?"

"It didn't..." Jensen looked over at Jeff. "Is he for real?"

"Welcome to the world of loving Jared," Jeff mumbled.

Jared's head shot up. "We barely knew each other at the time. I didn't find it to be appropriate first date conversation."

"Or second date or third date? Jared, this stuff is big. Like really big. I would have liked to have known about this."

"He's your client and I'm just some guy you've been seeing for a few months. I didn't want to complicate things for you just in case this didn't go anywhere. I didn't want you to lose your business because you decided to drop Cam."

"Lose my business? You were afraid for my wellbeing?"

"And Roberts. And his family. What would happen to him if your agency went belly up? No one would be willing to take him on."

Jensen sighed. He picked the file up off his lap and placed it on the table again. "How long did this go on for?"

"Almost four months," Jared whispered.

"Four...four months? Jesus Jared, why the hell did you stay?"

Jared flinched. "It's complicated."

"Complicated? How in the hell is it complicated? You let him hit you. You let him use you like a punching bag. Why?"

"It was either me or some poor random girl or guy," Jared screamed.

"What?" Jensen looked between Jared and Jeff. Finally he turned to Jeff. "What the hell is he talking about?"

"Tell him Jay," Jeff whispered.

Jared looked between Jensen and Jeff. Deciding there was no way around this conversation he took a seat on one of the chairs in the room.

"I met Cam through an anger support group. I was in training for my group so I had to sit in some of the sessions so that I could get a feel for what I might decide to do. Cam was there for another charge; one that no one knows about because it got buried when he agreed to go to consoling. He seemed so sweet and...and like he really felt remorseful for what he did. He took me on a date one night after one of the meetings and he was so charming that I didn't see the signs."

"What signs?" Jensen asked as he sunk back down on the couch.

"That he was..."

"Cam cheated on Jared every chance that he got. Whenever he went out of town he would pick up some random girl or guy and sleep with them," Jeff said for Jared when he noticed his little brother was floundering.

"How did it get to...to that?" Jensen asked pointing to the file.

"I told him about my past; about everything I'd been through before. He took it as an invitation to sometimes hit me during sex. Apparently he really liked doing it because he started hitting his random hook ups. When he came home with a bruised up hand I asked him how it happened and he told me. I freaked out and told him that he couldn't do it to other people, just me. He said okay and promptly hit me in the face."

"So he used it as his stress relief for a few months," Jeff said. "Until I found out."

"I begged him to stop because I didn't want Jeff to get in trouble. The rest is in that file."

Jared looked up at Jensen. The older man was staring down at his hands; clenching and unclenching his fits in his lap. His face was a storm of emotions but it seemed anger won out because he stood up in a rush and punched the wall behind the couch.

"Jesus Christ, man," Jeff yelled.

Jared cringed back into his seat at the violence. After being on the receiving end of enough of those punches he knew deep down exactly what that felt like. He didn't know if the tears that were now flowing down his face were from telling the story or from the image that punch put in his face.

"Shit," Jensen swore. He rushed over to Jared and dropped to his knees. "I'm sorry Jared," he whispered as he cupped his face in his hands. "I'm so sorry."

Jared wrapped his arms around Jensen's neck and cried into his shoulder. Jensen held him there, rubbing a soothing hand down his back and whispering kind words to him. Neither of them noticed Jeff leave the room.

"Jared?" Jensen whispered sometime later. Jared's tears had stopped and he was just clinging to Jensen.

"Yeah?" Jared whispered into his neck.

"No one is ever going to hurt you," he said, "not while I'm around."

Jared pulled back and looked at Jensen. The older man looked tired, tears that Jared didn't know he was shedding running down his face. Jensen gave him a small smile. Without thinking Jared moved forward and pressed his lips to Jensen's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't be mad at me! Also I even hate the story behind Cam and Jared's relationship so it is perfectly okay if you do too.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared and Jensen spend some time together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is fluff. Just 100% cavity inducing fluff. And as always all mistakes are my own.

Jensen was so surprised by the kiss he actually pushed Jared away from him. When he opened his eyes to look at the younger man he saw that Jared was staring at him with wide eyes.  
"I'm sorry," Jared whispered. He made a move to flee the room but Jensen blocked him.  
"It's okay," he said. "You just surprised me."  
"I'm..."  
Jensen kissed Jared, cutting off his apology. As they kissed Jared gave up all dominance to Jensen; yielding completely to him. They moved together perfectly. Jensen tasted every inch of Jared. He mapped out every inch of his mouth committing it to memory. When they finally broke apart, both of them absolutely gasping for air Jensen let out a laugh.  
"This is not how I wanted our first kiss to happen?" He panted.  
"You imagined our first kiss?"  
"Dreamed about it," Jensen admitted. "It was what I was dreaming about today in my office."  
"Did it live up to your expectations?"  
"Exceeded them," he confessed.   
"Well..."  
Jensen smashed their lips together again. He rose up, pushing Jared farther into the chair.  
"Would it be terribly forward if I requested we take this to my room?" Jared asked between kisses.  
"Not at all."   
Without breaking their kiss they stumbled through Jared's house until the got to his room. Carefully, Jensen pushed him down onto the bed then blanketed him with his body. They shimmied and moved until they were up on the bed completely. The kiss became more heated and Jensen basked in the beautiful sounds that's Jared was making under him.  
When Jensen made a move to pull Jared's shirt over his head he got his hand slapped away. He sat back and stared down at the younger man.  
"Did you want to stop?" He asked breathlessly. "Cause if you want to stop we can."  
"No I don't want to stop," Jared panted. "But I can't."  
"Why not?"  
Jared looked away. He mumbled something under his breath .  
"I didn't catch that Jay," he told him. He cupped Jared's face and guided it so that he faced him. "Could you repeat that for me."  
"I don't have anything," he whispered.  
"Oh, oh! Yeah!" Jensen rolled off of Jared. He scratched the back of his neck. "Like I said before I wasn't planning on this to happen so I don't have anything either."  
"That's okay. Maybe we could..."  
"I'm fine with not doing anything at all," Jensen admitted.   
"Really? Cause another part of your anatomy would beg to differ," he pointed out gesturing to Jensen's erection.  
"Seriously," he whispered. He leant forward and gave Jared a kiss on the lips. "I'm fine with just laying here with you."  
"Okay," Jared agreed. He moved off the bed and disappeared through the bathroom door, shutting the door behind him.  
Jensen laid in the darken room and waited. It was strange, a whole new experience. Generally he would have jumped at the chance to have Jared wrap his pretty little mouth around him but something was stopping him. He hated the feeling that he would be taking advantage of Jared in a moment of weakness. He'd even gone as far as to lie to Jared about not having any condom on hand.   
Jared reemerged from the bathroom in a pair of sweats and a t shirt. He smiled shyly at Jensen from where he stood.  
"Did you want to barrow anything to wear?"  
Jensen rolled off the bed and stripped off his pant. "You okay with me wearing this?"  
Jared's eyes moved up and down Jensen's body. "That's fine," he whispered sheepishly.   
Jensen settled himself back onto the bed. He looked over at Jared who hadn't moved an inch since reentering the room.  
"You going to join me?" He asked.  
Jared nodded. Slowly he moved over to the bed and settled down next to Jensen. He moved closed until their arms were brushing.  
"Is this okay?" He whispered.  
"This is perfect."

_____________________________________________________________________________________  
For the first time in a long time when Jensen woke up in the morning and felt a body next to him he moved closer to it instead if away. He wrapped his arms around Jared's body and nestled his head in his shoulder. From his new position he could feel when Jared started waking up.  
"Good morning," he whispered into Jared's shoulder blade. "How'd you sleep?"  
"Mmm," Jared responded.  
"Not fully awake?"  
"Nope," he whispered. He turned in Jensen's arms and buried his head in his chest. "How are you so awake right now?"  
"I'm not," he said around a yawn. "But I will be after about three cups of coffee."  
"Coffee," Jared murmured clearly falling back asleep. "That sounds good."  
"You want one?"  
The only response he got was a soft snore.  
_____________________________________________________________________________________  
"Hey, Jay, you awake?" Jensen asked a few hours later.  
Jared looked over his shoulder him. "No," he growled.  
"I've got coffee," Jensen said holding up a coffee mug.   
"You're a beautiful man," Jared mumbled as he sleepily sat up in bed. He made grabby hands on that cup. "Give me."  
With a laugh Jensen handed over the cup. "Who would have thought we were the same person in the morning?"  
Jared smiled behind the rim of his cup. "What did you do while I slept?"  
"Answered some emails. I used your computer. Is that okay?"  
"Did you go through my browser history or emails?"  
"Of course not!"  
"Then we're good," Jared said with a smirk.   
"So what are you going to do today?"  
Jared placed the empty cup of coffee on the night side table and nestled down into the blankets. "I'm going to spend the day in bed. Care to join me?"  
With a shit eating grin Jensen jumped into the bed. He moved so that he was half on top of Jared. "I'd love too."  
_____________________________________________________________________________________  
"You're kidding right?"  
"Nope."  
"You've never seen the movie Ghost Busters?"  
"I've never seen Ghost Busters," Jared confirmed.  
Jensen jumped out of the bed.  
"Where are you going?"  
"I'm going to get your lap top."  
"Why?"   
"Because we're going to watch Ghost Busters."  
_____________________________________________________________________________________  
Jared was curled around Jensen's side, his head laying on his chest.   
"So maybe it is an awesome movie," he whispered.  
Jensen smiled as he ran his hand through Jared's hair.   
"Told you so."  
_____________________________________________________________________________________  
"How big of a family do you want?" Jensen asked Jared.  
"As many kids as I can have."  
"You like being a carrier?"  
"I love being a carrier."  
"Have you ever been pregnant?"  
Jared looked away and nodded.  
"What was it like?"  
He shrugged. "I don't know. I miscarried early on."  
"Oh," Jensen whispered. "How old we're you?"  
"Sixteen."  
"Would you have kept it if you hadn't..." Jensen couldn't say the word. Thinking of a young Jared going through that made him hurt. He pulled Jared closer to him. "I'm sorry."  
"I would have kept it," Jared said quietly. "If I'd had the choice I would have nine year old right now."  
Jensen nodded and remained silent.  
_____________________________________________________________________________________  
"Neither of us has eaten anything all day," Jared pointed out at around seven o'clock.  
"What were you thinking have having?"  
"Pizza?" Jared suggested.  
"Pizza it is then," Jensen said as he grabbed his phone off the night side table.  
_____________________________________________________________________________________  
"You got any contact solution?" Jensen yelled to Jared from the bathroom.  
"Top drawer," he heard Jared yell back.  
"Found it," he yelled back.  
When Jensen entered the room several minutes later in his pair of glasses Jared gave him a smile; his dimples on full display.  
"You look really cute in those," Jared told him.  
"Cute?"   
Jared shook his head. "No, not cute. Sexy."  
_____________________________________________________________________________________  
"Do you want kids?" Jared whispered groggily to him.  
Jensen kissed Jared on the shoulder blade. "If you'd asked me three months ago I would have said no."  
"And now?"  
"Now I think I am warming up to the idea."  
_____________________________________________________________________________________  
Jensen kissed Jared's lips hard.   
"I wish I could stay," he whispered against the younger mans lips.  
"Yesterday was...."  
"Amazing?"  
Jared nodded. "It was perfect."  
"I think that is how we should do all of our dates from now on," he agreed.  
"Call me later?"  
"Of course," he whispered. With one last kiss Jensen released Jared and headed back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just this on my iPhone while I was sitting in the blistering sun at a horse show. I've been up since 5 am so this is mostly my sleep deprived brain coming up with ways to make Jared and Jensen look cute.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longer chapter for those who like those =) All mistakes are my own.

Jared stared at himself in the mirror. He still found it ridiculous that he had to get dressed up for this date. But Jensen had insisted because for him this was a big deal. For the first time in ten years Jensen had made it to four months with one person. So Jared had agreed to humor the older man and go out on the overly extravagant date.

"You almost ready?" Jensen called from the living room.

"I feel ridiculous," Jared called back.

"I bet you look amazing," Jensen told him. "And I was right."

Jared turned around to find Jensen standing in the doorway of the bathroom. The older man, who was dressed in a white button down with dark grey slacks, was smiling at him. He stepped into the room and wrapped his arms around Jared.

"I promise you will enjoy yourself," he whispered.

"I know I will."

"But?" Jensen prompted.

"It's just...I understand why tonight is such I big deal but I'd rather stay here and watch some stupid movie while eating take out."

Jensen gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "We'll do that tomorrow night. But tonight I want to take you out and parade you around."

"You want to show me off?"

Jensen pulled away from him. He looked Jared up and down before nodding. "Look at you," he said gesturing to Jared, "why wouldn't I want to show you off?"

Jared ducked him head trying to hide the blush he could feel spreading across his face. "I'm really nothing special," he whispered.

Jensen cupped Jared's face and guided it so that they were looking at each other. "To me you are," he stated. "Don't forget that."

Jared could feel tears falling from his eyes. Smiling softly, Jensen wiped the tears away as they tracked down his face. They stood silently for several minutes just staring at each other. Finally Jared gave Jensen a watery smile which made the older man smile brighter.

"You ready to go?" he asked stepping back a bit.

Jared looked down at himself. "I'm as ready as I am going to be," he mumbled.

***

"Two for Jensen," Jensen told the hostess when they walked into the restaurant.

The young girl looked up at Jensen. Her eyes traveled up and down his body before settling on his face. "How many?" She flirted, batting her eyelashes at him.

"Two," he repeated. He tapped the book in front of her. "My reservation is right there. And since I'm almost one hundred percent curtain my DATE," when he said this he lifted his and Jared's hands to punch in the point, "skipped lunch today I'd really like to be seated."

"Oh," the girl mumbled stupidly. She picked up two menus and led them to their table.

"Well, that was rude," Jared mumbled when he was seated.

"Yeah sorry," Jensen said scratching the back of his neck.  "I just didn't like seeing her treating you like you didn't exist."

"I wasn't talking about you," Jared told him. He leaned forward and kissed Jensen on the lips. "Thanks for defending my honor."

"You're welcome," he whispered, kissing Jared again.

Jared grabbed Jensen's hand and held it on the top of the table. "How did you know I didn't eat lunch?" He asked as he stared down at the menu.

Jensen let out a soft laugh. "I know you," he simply said.

They fell into a comfortable silence as they stared down at their menus. Jensen rubbed a thumb along Jared's knuckles causing Jared to get distracted. Instead of trying to decide what he wanted to eat he started at their joined hands.

"You actually going to look at that menu?" Jensen asked him.

"Sorry," he whispered looking back down. With a huff he closed the menu and looked up at Jensen. "Can you just choice for me?"

"Really?"

"Yes."

When the waitress came over to take their orders she angled her body away from Jensen and only talked to Jared. She kept touching her hair and smile, clearly flirting with him. After Jensen had ordered for the both of them he picked up his chair and moved closer to Jared.

"What are you doing?"

Jensen kissed Jared on the lips. Instantly the man wrapped his arms around Jensen and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss. When they pulled away from each other he stared at Jensen with a dazed look.

"What was that about?"

"Just me being a possessive bastard," he whispered against Jared's lips.

"Are you going to move back to your side of the table?"

He kissed Jared's lips again. "Nope."

"And I get no say in this matter?"

"Nope."

"You really are a possessive bastard."

"Yup."

Jared rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

***

When it happens neither of them really now who started it. One moment they were cuddling on the couch watching a movie and the next Jared was underneath Jensen. They were kissing slowly, deeply. Jared's hands were under Jensen's shirt, mapping out the muscle chest that hid underneath. Jensen's were in Jared's hair; running them through the long locks.

Suddenly Jensen pulled back. He stared down at Jared for several long moments.

"I'm not going to do anything you don't want to," he told him.

"Thanks," Jared mumbled trying to kiss Jensen again.

Jensen rolled off of Jared and sat down in the chair furthest from him. He adjusted himself so he could sit comfortably with the erection Jared was positive he had.

"I don't want to ruin this," he whispered.

"So you think having sex with me will ruin our relationship?"

"What?" Jensen's head snapped up. "Of course not!"

"Afraid you'll get me pregnant?" He accused. He stood up and put more space between himself and the older man. "Afraid you'll be stuck with me?"

"What?" He repeated.

"Or is it because I am so damaged? Can't handle my baggage, is that it?"

"I don't want to have sex with you too soon," Jensen told him. "All I have done for the last ten years is have sex with random people. I want to get tested before I have sex with you. I want to make sure that I don't accidently give you some STD I wasn't aware I even had. I love you Jared and I want the first time we sleep each other to be risk free."

"You love me?" Jared whispered.

"It scares the shit out of me but yeah I am in love with you. And if you don't feel the same about me that's fine. I can wait until you are ready to say it back because I realize four months isn't exactly long time."

"How long?"

"How long have I been in love with you?"

Jared nodded.

"Since that day I spent in bed with you. I woke up that morning excited to feel your warmth next to me. That isn't a feeling I am used to."

Jared sank onto the chair that was nearest to him. He stared down at his hands. "And if I told you I felt the same way?" he asked not lifting his head.

He could hear Jensen get up and move across the room. He felt Jensen's hands on his knees and when he looked up he saw that he was kneeling in front of him.

"You'd make me the happiest man in the world if you told me you felt the same way," he whispered, cupping Jared's face. "But I don't want you saying it because you feel pressured to. I understand that you are damaged but guess what? So am I."

"It wouldn't be you pressuring me," he said.

"Really?"

"Really."

Jensen surged forward and kissed Jared. "Say it," he whispered against his lips. "Please say it."

"I love you," Jared told him.

"One more time?"

"I, Jared Padalecki, love you, Jensen Ackles."

"I love you too."

"Stay the night?" he asked him softly.

"There is no other place I'd rather be."

"Do I really have to wait until you get tested?"

"Yes," he whispered. "But I promise I will do it as soon as possible."

Jared nodded. "I'll get tested too."

"Why?"

"Just to make sure. I don't know if Cam or my other ex had something that they didn't tell me about. If you want to make sure that you don't give me anything than I want to give you the same peace of mind."

"Can you tell me about your last ex?" Jensen asked him softly.

"He was a drunk. I thought I could help him get into rehab. Instead he..."

"What did he do to you Jared?"

Jared pushed the hair out of his revealing the scar on his head. "He hit me over the head with a bottle. It knocked me out and cause some head trauma."

"The headaches you get sometimes is from that?"

Jared nodded. "And...and there's more."

"More? Like what?"

Jared stood and took his shirt off. He looked away when he heard the gasp that Jensen let out when he took in Jared's scared chest.

"He...did that to you?"

Jared nodded not trusting his voice.

Suddenly Jensen's hands were on him. He ran them up and down his chest; tracing the pattern of the scars. When his hands traveled down to where the Caesarian scar was just barely visible Jared broke down into tears.

"This isn't from him is it?" Jensen asked silently.

Jared shook his head.

"Is this from...?"

"They had to do an emergency c-section," Jared told him. "It's not usual procedure but there were other injuries that had to be addressed as well."

"Other injuries? You said you miscarried. Why were there more injuries?"

"I did miscarry. It was caused by an...accident," Jared lied.

"And the accident caused the miscarriage?"

Jared nodded.

Jensen guided Jared's head down so that he could kiss him. When they parted he pulled him closer to him and just held him as he cried.

"Do you want to go to bed?" Jensen asked him some time later.

"If you don't mind. I feel really drained."

"I don't mind," he whispered. He released Jared, grabbed his hand, and led him to the bedroom.

Jensen helped Jared into bed then got in himself. He wrapped his arms around Jared's body, burying his head into his neck.

"Whatever happened to him?" he asked.

"Who?" Jared whispered groggily.

"Your ex. The one who scared you."

"The police couldn't prove he did anything to me. I have a restraining order against him and he isn't allowed anywhere near me. It's why I moved to Canton."

Jared could feel Jensen nod against his neck.

"Thank you for telling me," Jensen whispered a little while later.

"You deserved to know. We can't move forward if I keep secrets from you."

"I know. It's just...thank you."

"You're welcome."

"I love you," Jensen whispered nestling deeper into the bed behind him.

"I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter almost went a completely different way. Instead of this adorable chapter where they go on a date and Jared tell Jensen about Mark my mind wanted me to have Jensen cheat on Jared. But I told my mind that it wasn't going to happen so this is what came out instead.   
> Also thank you to everyone who is leaving comments and kudos. When I was at the horse show yesterday and I was getting the comments about how people couldn't wait to read more it made me want to write more. You guys are the greatest motivation in the world. Wish I had you guys around in real life so that I could finish the book I am trying to write.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another long chapter for those of you who like that sort of thing. All mistakes are my own.

The envelope in Jensen's hand scared the shit out of him. That one page was causing him to feel nauseas. He picked up the phone and dialed Jared's number.

"Hey Jen," Jared greeted. "What's up?"

"You at home?"

"No I'm still at work. Why?"

Jensen's let out a breath. "I got my test results back."

"And? What does it say?"

"I haven't opened yet," he admitted. "It scares me."

"It's a piece of paper," Jared told him laughing softly. "It's not going to hurt you."

"I know that. But what if I contracted something?"

"Then we deal with it. Just breath Jen."

"I want to open it with you there," he said.

"If you start driving now you can make it to my house by the time I am out of work."

"Yeah," he mumbled. "I'm going to do that. I'll see you in a few hours."

Jensen hung up the phone and stared down at the envelope. He could do this...right? He stood from the his chair then sat back down again. Suddenly his phone rang again. It was Jared.

"I know what you are doing Jensen," he told him when Jensen answered his phone. "Get in the car Jen. Everything is going to be okay."

"And what if it's not?"

"I love you," he said, "and that's not going to change because of what that paper says."

"Promise?"

"Yeah Jensen, I promise."

Jensen sighed. "Okay. I'm leaving."

"Get in the car."

"I'm getting in the car."

Jared laughed. "I'll see you in a few hours."

"Jared?"

"Yes Jen?"

"I love you too."

"I know, I know."

Jensen gathered all of his things and ran to his car.

***

Jensen let himself into Jared's house when he arrived. He found his boyfriend sitting on the couch, movie ready to play on the TV and take out containers littering the table.

"Chinese?" He asked as he entered the room.

"Thai. Is that okay?"

Jensen threw himself down onto the couch and kissed Jared's lips. "Thai is perfect," he told him as he sat back. He lifted one of the containers and started eating.

"Are you stalling?" Jared asked. He grabbed the container from Jensen's hand and put it back on the table. "Just give me the paper."

Sighing, Jensen pulled the envelope out of his pocket and handed it to Jared. He watched as the younger man opened the envelope and read it over.

"What does it say, Jay?"

With a blank face Jared handed him the paper. One word was repeated over and over again: negative. Everything was negative. He placed the paper down and reached for the container of food again.

"We're not going to talk about this?" Jared asked.

"Talk about what?"

"That," he said gesturing to the paper.

"There's nothing to talk about," he said around a mouth full of food. "So, what are we watching?"

"I would like to talk about this."

Jensen turned to Jared. "Tell me what's going on in your head then."

"I want to have sex with you. Tonight."

Jensen nearly choked on the food he was swallowing. "What?" he coughed.

"You heard me."

"But could you repeat it again just to make sure I really did."

"I want to have sex with you tonight."

"Okay so I did hear you right," he said. "Any reason why you are rushing?"

"I'm not rushing. If I was rushing I would have slept with you two months ago."

"Two months ago?"

"That night when I told you about Cam. I lied to you. I've been on birth control since I was sixteen. I just felt like we were r..."

Jensen jumped forward and kissed Jared on the lips;  blanketed the younger man with his body. He deepened the kiss and asked for entrance which Jared granted. He mapped out the other mans mouth and tasted the Thai food. This time when he made the move to lift Jared's shirt over his head the younger man allowed.

Once the shirt was off he moved down Jared body. He kissed his neck, sucking a bruise into his collar bone. His hands trailed down, tracing the  lines of scars that littered Jared's body. After sucking another bruise onto his neck he moved down. Carefully he took one of Jared's nipples into his mouth and flicked it with his tongue.

"Jen," Jared moaned fisting his hand into his hair.

"Sh," he shushed. He moved back up Jared's body and kissed him softly. "I've got you. Don't worry."

After another deep kiss Jensen moved back down Jared's body. He kissed down and when he came to the Caesarian scar he kissed along it giving it special care. When he locked eyes with Jared he saw that the younger mans eyes were swimming. Smiling he pulled back.

"Sit up," he said.

"What? Why?" Jared asked but complied anyways.

Without a word Jensen moved down between Jared's leg. He worked the button from the hole and unzipped the zipper before help Jared out of both his pant and boxers. After throwing the clothing into the hallway that led to the bedroom he turned back to look at Jared.

"Damn," he whispered. "You are not small."

"Its proportional at least," he heard Jared whisper.

He hummed his agreement then locked eyes with Jared as he lowered his head so that he could lick the head of Jared's cock. The younger man let out a breathy moan which Jensen took as an invitation to take Jared into his mouth.

"Shit," Jared breathed.

Jensen hummed around Jared's length which caused the younger man to buck his hips into his mouth. The act caused Jared to hit the back of his throat making Jensen gag a bit.

"Sorry," he whispered trying to move away.

Jensen held him down gently with a hand to the chest and continued to deep throat him. As he moved up Jared's length he ran the flat of his tongue along the underside. When he came to the top he licked the crown again, tasting himself and Jared's precome on his tongue.

"I want you to be comfortable," he whispered into Jared's thigh. "Are you sure about this?"

Jared produced a bottle of lube and a condom from the side of the couch. "I had this all planned out Jen," he panted. "Please don't leave me like this."

"I wouldn't dream of it baby," he said as he grabbed the lube and condom. "Lie back."

Nodding Jared moved so that he was on his back. "Do you want me..."

"I wanna see your face," he told him.

Jensen settled between Jared's legs. He helped Jared so that he could get a better position than slicked his fingers up with the lube.

"Your positive?" He asked one more time.

Jared bit his lip and nodded. "Yes," he breathed. "I promise. Go ahead."

"Okay then," Jared whispered to himself. He breathed in deeply then pressed his finger into Jared's hole up to the first knuckle.

"Oh, oh fuck," Jared panted.

"Do you...?"

"Don't you fucking dare," he said cutting him off. "It's been a while just give me a minute."

Jensen nodded and waited until Jared started rocking back against his hand before he started working the finger in and out slowly. It was several minutes, and an extremely frustrated growl from Jared later that he worked a second finger in. By the time he felt like Jared was ready for a third finger the younger man was fucking himself back onto Jensen's fingers. When the third finger was added though Jared stopped moving or making any noise.

"Are you okay?" Jensen asked.

"If you don't get inside me in the next few minutes I am going to come," he snapped back.

"But..."

"Jen, please," he begged.

"I... yeah. Give me a moment."

"Hurry," Jared said.

Pulling his fingers out Jensen started stripping as fast as he possibly could. After falling over and nearly knocking all of the forgotten take containers on the floor Jensen slowed his movements down a bit. By the time he was fully naked Jared had started stroking himself and Jensen could tell he was close to coming.

"One more minute," he told Jared as he slipped the condom on. "Please don't come yet."

"I won't," Jared panted. "Just move quicker."

Only half paying attention to what he was doing Jensen slipped the condom on then settled between Jared's legs again. He slipped three fingers into Jared again and worked him open a little again before removing his fingers.

"You ready?"

Jared nodded.

"Okay," he whispered and pushed into Jared.

He stopped dead, only a few inches inside Jared. His eyes raked over Jared trying to pick up on any discomfort. He was so busy making sure Jared was okay he didn't feel his wrapping his legs around his waist. Suddenly Jensen was being pushed forward and was fully sheathed inside Jared.

"Fuck," he yelled. "Jesus. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Jared breathed. "Just...just don't move for a minute."

Jensen placed his hands on Jared's hips. "Not moving until you give the okay."

They sat in relative silence for several minutes just listening to each other's breathing. Jensen was about to pull out and say they try another time when Jared started rocking back against him.

"Move," the younger man panted.

Jensen replied by pulling out and then slamming back in. He set up a slow rhythm just enjoying the feeling of being inside Jared for the first time. Apparently the younger man didn't like this rhythm because he started making frustrated noises as Jensen worked himself in and out.

"You okay Jay?"He whispered.

"Faster," he replied. "Please Jensen, move faster."

"Okay, okay."

Slowly he started picking up the pace until Jared was finally satisfied. At least Jensen thought he was satisfied if the noises coming from Jared were any indication. Now Jensen was frustrated. He could tell Jared was enjoying himself but he wanted his boyfriend to scream in pleasure. Stopping for a second he grabbed one of Jared's legs and threw it over his shoulder so that he could get deeper thrusts into him. With the new angle he was now hitting Jared's prostate on almost every thrust in.

"Ah, ah, ah," Jared moaned.

Suddenly everything felt different. Everything became more and more intense for Jensen and before he could really evaluate what was going on Jared came, completely untouched, causing Jensen's orgasm to ripped from him almost seconds after Jared's. He collapsed against the back of the couch and smiled down at Jared.

"Come here," Jared whispered.

Jensen brought his head down and kissed Jared on the lips. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"I'm tired," Jared mumbled groggily.

"I'll put the take out in the fridge while you get cleaned up," Jensen told him. He sat up and slowly started pulling out of Jared. He had a firm grasp on the end of the condom but that didn't matter. The condom was broken.

"Shit."

"What's wrong?" Jared asked sitting up.

"How effective is your birth control?"

"I don't know. Why?"

"You better hope its damn near perfect. The condom broke."

Jared sat up quickly and looked down at the ripped condom. "Shit," he breathed.

"My thoughts exactly," Jensen deadpanned.

"We're okay," Jared told him.

"You sure?" Jensen asked.

"Yeah. All birth control is like ninety nine percent affective so we'll be okay. Don't worry."

Jensen nodded. "Okay," he whispered. "Go take a shower. I'll meet you in bed in a few."

"Okay," Jared said. He gave Jensen a quick kiss before getting off the couch and exiting the room.

Jensen sat in the living room staring down at his flaccid penis that still had the broken condom on it. He could feel himself freaking out. What if he got Jared pregnant? Could he handle being a dad? Could Jared? The sound of the shower in the bathroom turning on made him jump. He ran a hand over his face then pulled the condom off and discarder it in the empty take out bag. Numbly he stood, pulled on his boxers, then started cleaning up the take out container. He put the full ones in the fridge and discarded the empty ones, which there was only one of, outside in the trash with the bag that had the broken condom in it. By the time he was finished Jared was out of the shower and laying in bed.

"You okay?" Jared asked when he entered the room. "You look a bit pale."

Jensen waved a dismissive hand in Jared's direction and went into the bathroom. After splashing frigid cold water on his face he moved back into the room.

"Would it be that bad?" Jared asked after Jensen had settled into bed beside him. "If I was to get pregnant I mean."

"I...I don't know," Jensen answered truthfully. "I haven't gotten my head around it yet. Just...can we go to sleep?"

Jared nodded "Goodnight," he whispered then turned onto his side so that he was facing away from Jensen.

Jensen turned so that he was facing the other wall and they fell asleep not touching each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think this will ever happen to me again but I literally just had an internal fight with myself whether to use the work 'cock' or 'penis'. Just thought I'd share that little bit of information with you.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst. And some fluff. All mistakes are my own.

Jared hadn't heard from Jensen in over a week. At first he thought that the older man just need space so he allowed it but after five days with no communication he started to get scared. When he decided to give him a call to see if they could meet up and talk all he got was Jensen's voice mail. After three days of nothing he gave up.

"When was the last time you saw him?" Jeff asked.

"It's been almost three weeks."

"Have you tried contacting him?"

"No I thought I'd sit around and hope he'll just call," Jared said sarcastically. "Of course I've called him. After three days I thought I looked dispirit so I gave up."

"I'm going to kill him," Chad stated.

"No you're not," Jared told him. "You're both going to leave him alone."

"No, we're going to kill him. He doesn't get to do this to you. If you're pregnant he's got to be a man and deal with it," Chad said.

"So he's supposed to be with me in obligation to the baby that may or may not be growing inside me?"

"Jared..."

"I am not going to have him resenting me for ruining his life. If I am pregnant, and that is a big if, I am not going to force Jensen into being with me. I'd prefer that he was with me because he wants to be."

"Jared..."

"No!" He shouted. "I am not going to force him to be with me."

"That wasn't what I was going to say," Jeff mumbled.

"Then what were you going to say?"

"I think you're right."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Really?" Chad asked.

"Yes. Jared doesn't need that in his life. What he needs is a healthy relationship, not one based on obligations. If he is pregnant then maybe going on alone is better."

"Can I at least punch him in the face?"

"No Chad, you can't."

Chad slumped down into the chair he was sitting in. "Fine," he mumbled. "I won't punch him in the face."

"Or anywhere else on his body."

"Or anywhere else on his body."

***

When 'if' became reality Jared wasn't so sure he didn't want Jensen around. But Jensen still wasn't answering any of his calls almost two months later so he really didn't have much choice. He still couldn't believe that little white stick had told him he was pregnant. One last effort at communication couldn't hurt, right?

_I know you don't want anything to do with me but I think we should talk_.

He never got a reply back.

***

"Your blood work came back and you are in fact pregnant," the doctor told him. "With what you told me about when you last had intercourse I believe you are around two months but I'd like to do an ultra sound just to make sure."

Jared nodded, still too stunned from the news to speak.

"Okay then. This is going to be a bit cold," the doctor told him as he squirted some gel on his stomach. When he flinched the doctor let out a small laugh. "Everyone has the same reaction."

They fell into silence as the doctor moved the transmitter along the span of Jared's stomach, pushing the cool gel around more. After a few moment the doctor paused.

"There it is," he said pointing to the small circle on the screen.

"That's...that's my baby?" Jared croaked out.

"That tiny little speck is your baby," the doctor confirmed. "And it looks like I was correct on the time frame. These," he pointed to one part of the blob, "is your baby's head. And these little stumps are his arms and of course those are the legs."

"The head is really big," Jared pointed out.

"At this point it is. But don't worry it will become proportional to the rest of it body."

"It...it almost looked human."

"That's because it is," the doctor joked.

"I know it's just...What is that?" Jared asked after a strange thumping noise started.

The doctor looked up at him. "That is your baby's heart beat."

"Wow," he whispered to himself.

The doctor chuckled quietly to himself before turning back towards the screen. "Everything looks good," he told Jared. "We're perfectly on track. Did you want a print out?"

Jared nodded. "This little one has some relatives that would love to see it."

"Okay," the doctor said as he started pressing buttons on the machine. "How about you get cleaned up and we can go into my office and have a chat?"

Jared nodded and moved off of the table. The doctor left the room so that he could give him some privacy. Now that he was alone he took the opportunity to look at himself in the mirror. He certainly didn't look pregnant. There wasn't even any softening yet. But there was already the desperate urge to pee and the morning sickness that wasn't just during the morning. He turned away from the mirror so that he could head to the doctor's office so they could talk.

***

"I'm going to punch him in the face," Chad informed him the moment he saw the ultra sound pictures.

"Shut up," Jeff snapped as he snatched the pictures from Chad's hands. "This is a baby?"

"Yes Jeff," Jared sighed. "See there is its and those are its arms and feet."

"Looks like an alien to me," he mumbled.

"Well it's not," Jared snapped.

"Yay hormones," Chad deadpanned.

"Shut up," Jared mumbled, wiping a tear out of his eye.

"Are you crying?"

Jared nodded.

"Why?"

"I'm scared," he admitted.

"Oh Jay," Jeff whispered pulling Jared into his arms. "It's okay. We're here for you."

"But...but I want Jensen."

Chad and Jeff fell silent. Suddenly the room air in the room became extremely suffocating. Jared backed out of Jeff's arms and turned to leave the room. Before he got to the door though he turned and grabbed the ultra sound scans from Jeff then exited the house.  

***

"Oh Jared, baby," his mom, Sherri, said when she saw the pictures for the first time. "How are you feeling?"

"Right now I feel fine. But this morning I got to have some intimate time with my toilet bowl."

"How far along are you?" His dad asked.

"Nine weeks. These were taken last week."

"Nine weeks? Wow," his little sister, Megan, beamed. "You're going to be a dad."

"I know."

"Does the other father know?"

Jared shook his head. "He hasn't contacted me in two months."

"Oh."

"I could get him to contact you," his dad said. He stood up and left the room.

"Where is he going?" Jared asked looking between his mom and little sister.

"Probably to get your brother to go find this precious little things other father," his mom cooed. She moved so that she could place a hand on Jared's stomach. "You've got a belly."

Jared looked down at his mother's hand. "I didn't have one last week," he told her. "It just sort of appeared over night."

"Can I feel?" Megan asked.

"Fine," Jared said, rolling his eyes.

She rushed forward and placed her hand next to their mothers. "Oh my God," she gushed.

"Have you started feeling any movement?"

Jared shook his head. "The doctor told me I wouldn't feel anything for a few more weeks. But you should have seen it on the screen. It was moving all over the place."

"You were exactly the same way," she told him.

"Are you scared?" Megan asked.

"I'm terrified," he admitted. "But at the same time I am really excited."

"You always did want a baby," his mom commented.

"And now he gets one," Megan whispered.

Jared could feel the tears starting to form. "I just wish his or her brother or sister was alive to enjoy this with me."

Sherri looked up at him with her own tears. "We never did get to get this far the first time," she sniffed.

Megan threw her arms around Jared's neck. He could feel her tears on his shirt as he pulled her closer. Carefully, he snaked another arm around his mother and pulled her into his side.

"We're gonna get all the first this time," he told them.

Megan sobbed into his chest. "I'll kill anyone who tried to take this from you again," she told him.

"I know you will," he whispered, kissing the top of her head.

"You'll have an extremely long line to get in front of," Sherri said. She laughed half heartily. "Jeff and your father are going to kill anyone who even looks at you wrong for the next seven months."

"I can't wait," he deadpanned.

Megan stepped out of his arms. With the back of her hand she wiped the tears from her face. "I can't wait to be an aunt."

"Oh lord," their mother breathed.

"What momma? What's wrong?"

"I'm going to be a grandmother," she whispered.

Jared and Megan broke down into a fit of laughter. He ended up having to excuse himself so he could use the bathroom he laughed so hard. This only made Megan laugh harder and their mother join in.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is going to get really sad before it gets any better. Jensen finds out about Sam in the next chapter in a really sad way. I would change it to something less tragic but its been in my head for days so... just a warning.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More angst. Some fluff. And like always all mistakes are my own.

Jensen's intention wasn't to not contact Jared for two months. It started off as needing a little time to think since there was the possibility that he was going to be a father. He just had needed time to get his head around the idea. Three days later he was actually excited. The idea of having something that was part him and part Jared made him happy. That little person would be proof that they were in fact in love and that Jensen was committed to one person for the rest of his life.

On the fourth day, at the exact time that he was about to call Jared, his phone fell out of his shaking hands and smashed. He rushed to the nearest place to get it fixed and tried to make the call again. Then Cam called him and told him he needed to fly out to New York because he was freaking out. In his haste to get there as quick as possible he left his phone in San Antonio. It wasn't until he was sitting on his second plane of the day did he realize he didn't have it. Since he just got a replacement phone, the phone company refused to give him a new one. They made him get a new phone number along with a new phone.

Finally he sat down and went to make the call to Jared. The phone rang and rang but he never answered. He tried again and again and again with the same results. After a month of no answer he gave up. He guessed that Jared didn't want anything to do with him after the way he treated him.

The thought that Jared was pregnant and refusing to answer his calls scared him. Did that mean he didn't want Jensen in his or their babies life? Did he regret being with Jensen? Would he even tell him that he was a father when the time came?

Chris and Steve tried to convince him that everything would get better when he got home from New York. They told him that when he got home he could sit down with Jared and tell him what happened. But as Jensen cried on the phone to his two best friends about how he felt like his life was ending he couldn't believe a word they said. He couldn't believe that Jared would ever take him back.

***

"Still not answering?" Cam asked when Jensen entered the room.

"Mine and Jared's relationship is none of your business," he said throwing his phone down.

Cam lifted his hands in surrender. "Sorry man," he mumbled. "But I did warn you about him."

"How about you shut the fuck up," Jensen snapped.

"Is that anyway to speak to your best client?"

"I'm going out," he mumbled under his breath.

"Hey," Cam yelled after him. "Before you go out. Tell me, has Jared let you hit him during sex yet?"

"What?" Jensen exclaimed turning back to the younger man.

"Has he let you rough him up? When I was with him he used to let me do it."

"No I don't punch my boyfriend during sex," Jensen snapped.

"So you don't know about how pretty his face looks when it's all bruised up. That's a shame. He always did look cuter like that."

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

"What?"

"You're a pig," he growled.

"Come on man. He told me he liked it."

Jensen punched Cam in the face.

"What the fuck man?" Cam yelled holding his hand to his nose. "I think you broke my nose."

"Good," he yelled.

"Where the fuck are you going?"

"Home. If you didn't get it from me punching you in the face I'm done. Find a new agent that will deal with your shit."

"But no one else will sign me," Cam pleaded. He followed Jensen out of the room and down the hall. "I'm sorry. I won't mention Jared ever again. Please."

"You're a fucking asshole Came Tilton and I've wanted to drop you for years. Thanks for giving me the chance."

Jensen stepped into the elevator and watched the doors close on Cam. Once they were shut he sank against the wall. He left all of his stuff in Cam's apartment which meant he would have to wait till he was at the airport to get his plane ticket home. Checking his pockets he breathed a sigh of relief once he realized he hadn't left his wallet.

***

Jensen had been home for an hour when the banging on his door started. Groggily he pushed up off the couch and went to the door. It had just barely swung open when he was punched in the face.

"What the fuck," he yelled. "Jeff?"

"Gonna let us in asshole?" The taller man asked. Behind him stood Chad and someone Jensen had never met.

"Who's this?" he asked looking the older man up and down.

"This is my father. Now are you going to let us in or not?"

Jensen stepped back. "Yeah, come in."

Even thought there was enough room for them to enter both Jeff and Chad rammed into Jensen's shoulder as they walked into the house. Jeff and Jared's father just gave him a hard look as he passed.

"So what's up? Why are y'all in my house?"

"He's pregnant," Jeff told him.

"He is?" Jensen jumped up from the chair he had sat down in. "Why the hell are we here? I want to see him."

"If you want to see him why haven't you contacted him in two months?" Chad asked.

"I've been in New York. I accidently left my phone here and I had to buy a replacement phone that had a different number. He wouldn't answer me."

"You're the stalker number?"

"Yes I am the stalker number!" Jensen yelled. "I've been going out of my mind. I thought he didn't want me in his life anymore."

"Shit," Jeff mumbled. He looked over at Chad then at his father. "We need to get you to Canton."

"Damn right you need to get me to Canton. Is he alright? Is the baby?"

"They are both fine," Jeff father told him. He stood and removed something from his breast pocket and passed it to Jensen. "That's you baby."

Jensen looked down at the ultra sound picture and had to sit down. This was the little human he had been dreaming about for two months. At least he thought it was. He had to squint in order to really get what he was looking at.

"This...this is normal?"

"Yeah that's normal," the older man told him. "They look like an alien for the first few months. That little thing will look like a human soon enough."

Jensen nodded. He knew he was openly crying in front of the three other men but he couldn't stop the tears. The amount of love he was feeling right now was just too overwhelming.

"Please," he whispered still looking down at the ultra sound picture. "Please take me to him."

***

Jensen watched as Jeff, Chad, and Gerard disappeared down the road. Slowly he turned back to Jared's front door. Before everything he would have just let himself in but he knew he didn't have the right. Jared thought he had abandoned him. He thought he didn't want anything to do with him. Jensen's chest clenched as he tried to keep the tears from falling. Slowly he lifted his hand to the doorbell and rung it.

"Jensen?" Jared whispered when he opened the door.

"Hey," he said lamely.

"Where have you been?"

"New York. Cam he..." He looked down at Jared's stomach and couldn't breathe. Jared had a tiny little bump. It was so small that if Jensen hadn't been looking for it he wouldn't have seen it stretching Jared shirt.

"Cam what?" Jared asked.

"He, uh, he needed me there for some stupid reason. I left my phone at home by accident and when I tried calling you with me replacement you never answered."

"That was you calling me?"

Jensen nodded. He hadn't lifted his head to look at Jared since he realized he could see the bump. His eyes refused to focus anywhere else. The amount of pride and love he felt right now was suffocating.

"Are you okay?" Jared asked.

"I'm..." Jensen's breath hitched.

Jared placed his hands on his stomach. "I'm keeping it," he whispered. "Nothing you say right now can convince me otherwise. I lost one baby because someone didn't want it and I won't lose another."

"What?" Jensen's eyes snapped up to Jared's face. It wasn't until right now that he realized Jared was crying. "I thought it was an accident."

"I lied," he whispered. "When I was sixteen...he, my ex, he beat me until I miscarried. I told him I wouldn't give it up so he..."

"He made you miscarry?"

Jared nodded. "I can't lose this baby too, Jen. I can't lose it. I nearly died the last time; I wanted to die. I begged my brother to let me die with the baby. He wouldn't let me. But that baby...it was supposed to be my future, you know? I was so excited when I found out and I was stupid and told him. I should have known he would do something like that. I mean the baby was already the result of a rape and...please don't make me. I won't surviving losing this one Jen."

"Your ex made you miscarry?"

"Yes," he sobbed. "He kicked me repeatedly in the stomach until...just tell me you won't make me get rid of it."

Jensen watched as Jared backed out of the doorway and stumbled his way to the living room. He followed him in, shutting the door quietly behind him. When he wandered into the house he found Jared curled up on the couch wrapped around himself protecting the bump.

"He was already violent towards me," he whispered when Jensen entered the room. "One day he went a little too far and raped me. I was so scared of him that I didn't tell anyone. I found out I was pregnant and I was so scared but that feeling was outweighed by the fact that I was having a baby. I thought he would be excited. I thought he would be the guy I started dating again. Instead he called me a freak and told me I had to get rid of the baby. When I told him I wouldn't he told me that he would do it for me. Next thing I knew I was on the ground and he was repeatedly kicking me in the stomach. I am pretty sure the baby was dead right away but he kept going and going until Jeff found us."

Jensen felt sick. The thought that someone could do that to their baby, to the person that they loved, made him want to throw up. He had to run from the room and dash to the bathroom so that he could throw up into the toilet. He tried closing his eyes but the images of a young Jared going through that made him want to throw up more.

"Jen?" Jared whispered.

"I'm sorry," he said. He spat into the toilet and stood up. "It's just...how could someone do that to someone else?"

"So you're not going to asked me to get rid of the baby?" Jared asked. He had his hands settled on the bump again like he was trying to protect it from Jensen. "I can keep it?"

"Of course you can keep it," he whispered. He wanted to wrap his arms around Jared but by the shade of green the younger man was turning he guessed he was feeling nauseous. Instead he flushed the toilet and brushed his teeth.

"Do you...do you want to be part of its life?" Jared asked. "If not I am fine with that too. I know it was an accident..."

Jensen placed the tooth brush down and rushed over to Jared, slamming his lips against the younger mans. Jared gasped but started to kiss back after only a second hesitation.

"I thought you didn't want me in your life," Jensen whispered. "I thought you decided you didn't want to deal with me anymore. I know I should have called the next day so we could talk about it but I was freaking out. And then when it hit me that I wanted this I tried to call you but I smashed my phone I was shaking so much."

"You want this?" Jared asked just barely audible.

"I'm so excited for this. It took me two days to realize that I wasn't scared anymore and that the energy coursing through my body was love. This," he said as he cupped the small bump, "is the greatest thing that had ever happened to me. You are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me."

Jared's breathing hitched as he cried. "You really scared me," he sobbed. "When you didn't answer me I thought you were done with me."

Jensen brought his hands up to cup Jared's face. "I will always want you," he whispered. "And I will always want any babies that you and I ever make."

Jared leaned forward and kissed Jensen softly on the lips. "What happened to your hand?"

"I punched Cam in the face."

"You punched Cam in the face? Why?"

"He asked me if I'd ever hit you. I just lost it. I punched him in the face and dropped him as my client."

"But Jen, he's your best client. You can't just..."

Jensen pulled Jared into his arms and kissed him hard. "It's my business and I don't want that scum bag weighing me down. I've got good clients, ones that are good people. I'd rather have them in my life then that asshole."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"You promise you're okay with this?" He asked.

Jensen cupped the little bump again. "I promise."

***

Jensen sat down next to Jeff at the bar. Jeff pushed the full glass of beer towards him with a smile.

"How'd it go?" he asked.

"He told me about what happened to him when he was sixteen," Jensen whispered.

"He told you about Sam?"

"That was the bastards name?"

"Yup."

"What happened to him?"

"He was in jail until about a year ago," Jeff said.

"Was in jail? Where is he now?"

"Dead."

"Dead?"

"Dead. His cellmate killed him. Turns out he lied to everyone how he ended up in jail for a few years then he let it slip. Prisoners have a code I guess."

"So this guy will never be able to terrorize Jared again?"

"Nope."

Jensen nodded. He drained the rest of his beer. "Does Jared know about this?"

Jeff shook him head. "He doesn't want to know anything about Sam. We can't even bring him up in conversations without Jared getting upset."

"Thanks for telling me," he said as he stood. He placed some money on the bar. "I'm going to get back to him."

"Hey Jensen," Jeff called.

"Yeah?"

"You ever disappear like that again and I will let Chad beat you up," he told him.

"I'm not going anywhere," he said before leaving the bar and heading back to Jared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Those scenes have been in my head for forever. I couldn't think of any other way for Jensen to find out about Sam so this is how it ended up happening and I just really wanted Sam dead so I killed him off. Hope you liked this. If not then that's fine too.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short little filler chapter to tie you guys over for now. And as always all mistakes are my own.

Jared woke up to the sound of Jensen coming back into the house. He sat up sleepily and waited for Jensen to come into the room.

"Hey," Jensen whispered. "Didn't mean to wake you up."

"Where did you go?"

Jensen sat down next to him in bed. Carefully, he ran a hand up and down Jared's baby bump. "Jeff called and asked me to meet him."

"Why did he want to meet you?"

"To make sure everything is okay with us. Also to threaten me."

"Threaten you?"

Jensen leaned forward and kissed Jared on the forehead. "You sound like a parrot," he told him.

"I'm tired," he whispered. He settled back down into the bed and curled around Jensen. "You coming to bed?"

"Give me a few minutes," he said kissing Jared on the forehead again. "I just need to get ready for bed."

Jared hummed his agreement and rolled away from Jensen so that the older man could get up. He listened to Jensen move around the bedroom as he got ready for bed. When he was about to fall asleep Jensen slipped into bed and wrapped his arms around him.

"How are you feeling?" Jensen asked

"Tired."

"Other than that," Jensen teased.

"Fine."

Jensen moved his hand down so that it was resting on the baby bump. "Did the doctor tell you that you should be able to carry to term?"

"Yes."

"He doesn't think that there will be any complications?"

Jared turned in Jensen arms so that he could look at the older man. "Just ask."

"Are there any residual effects from the beating?"

"No," Jared told him. "That was one of the points of the c-section."

Jensen sighed. "You have no idea how great that makes me feel."

"I had the same fear when I was younger," Jared admitted. "Right after the miscarriage I was terrified I wasn't going to be able to get pregnant again. I had to see a therapist because I was convinced that there was nothing to live for. I was getting better when I met Cam and he crumbled it all. Then Mark came into my life and made everything worse."

"And now?"

"And now I am seeing a therapist again to get better. I want to be better. For myself and for you and for this baby."

Jensen leaned forward and kissed Jared on the lips softly. "No one is ever going to cause you to crumble ever again," he said.

"You going to protect me?"

"Always."

Jared move closer to Jensen, placing his head on his chest. "I really want to have sex with you right now but I am so tired I am afraid I might fall asleep in the middle."

"You saying having sex with me is boring?"

"No I am saying your baby is wiping me out. I have never been this tired in my life."

"We could always..."

Jared huffed. "Maybe in the morning," he said as he tired around to face the wall.

"You're going to be sick in the morning," Jensen pointed out.

"I promise we will do it again soon," he mumbled.

"Fine," Jensen whispered. He moved closer and wrapped his arms around Jared. "Love you."

"Love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little bit of fluff. Jensen is going to be getting cock blocked a lot by "the baby" in the next few chapters.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longish chapter. All mistakes are my own.

"Look who it is," Steve called as Jensen entered his apartment.

"What are you doing here?"

"Waiting for you," he said from where he lounged on Jensen's couch. "Haven't seen you in a while."

"You didn't even know I was going to be home."

"Okay so I've been eating your food. It's not like you've been here."

Chris emerged from  Jensen's guest bathroom. "Hey," he cheered. "Your back."

"Are you staying here?"

"No."

Jensen looked into the guest room to see Chris's stuff littered all over the place. "Really?"

"Okay so maybe I am. Someone's gotta make sure no one steals all of your stuff."

"You guys are impossible," he muttered as he pushed passed Chris. "I've gotta get back soon."

"You staying there again?" Steve asked.

"Of course I am."

"But what about your business? How are you running it from Canton?"

"I'm mostly communicating through email with my clients. But I've started looking for available office space up there so I can have a place to work out of."

"Wait," Chris said stepping in front of Jensen halting his packing. "Are you moving to Canton?"

"Probably. I don't know yet."

"You've only been with this guy for seven months. Why in the hell are you making this decision so hastily?"

"Jared's pregnant," he told them.

"What?" Chris and Steve yelled at the same time.

"Jared and I are expecting a baby sometime in the next six months."

"Jared is three months pregnant and you are just telling us now?" Chris yelled.

"Neither of you have been answering my phone calls."

"I talked to you two days ago," Steve reminded him. "At no point did you tell me that your boyfriend was pregnant. You didn't even tell us he was a carrier."

"Everything happened so suddenly. I got home from New York and then WHAM! I'm gonna be a dad. Sorry if I didn't stop to tell you guys."

Chris nodded. "You gonna sell this place?"

"I guess so. I really don't like the idea of raising my kid in an apartment, you know? Jared's got this nice house in Canton with a big back yard that I think will be perfect to raise...sorry. Sometimes I do this thing where I start rambling about the future."

"You happy Jen?" Steve asked.

Jensen nodded.

"Then so are we," he told him.

"Yeah man. I mean a few months ago you were living a really unhealthy life. Now you're all domesticated. It's really cute."

"You guys should see him. He's got the cutest little bump going. It makes him look kind of funny cause he's so tall and lanky but its adorable at the same time. He says he can feel it moving already. Like little bubbles are popping in his stomach."

"He's a goner," Chris pointed out.

"I think it is adorable," Steve said.

"You guys wanna come over tonight? Jay and I were planning on ordering pizza and staying in. He gets really tired easily so we stay in most nights now. I'd love for you guys to officially meet."

 "You think he'd be okay with that?"

"I'll give him a call right now and check with him. I'll be right back."

Jensen exited the room and picked up his phone from the front entrance. Pressing the first speed dial he called Jared.

"Hey," Jared whispered.

"Did I wake you?"

"No I was awake," Jared lied.

"I know you are lying to me," he told him. "You feeling okay?"

"Just a little tired. I fell asleep while watching a movie. Are you on your way back?"

"I'm leaving in a few," he said. "I was wondering if you'd be okay with me inviting Chris and Steve over. I'd love for you guys to meet but if you're not up to it..."

"No, no that's fine. I'd love to actually meet them. I'll just order an extra pizza. Actually I should probably make that two extra pizza."

"Why?"

"I have a crazing for jalapeño and peanut butter pizza," Jared whispered. "I just figured no one else would want to eat that with me."

Jensen laughed. "No I think I'll stick to my pepperoni if that is okay with you."

"So two large pepperoni and one medium jalapeno?"

"Sounds good to me."

"Okay," Jared yawned. "Call me when you are close so I can place the order."

"Will do. I love you."

"I love you too."

Jensen hung up the phone and wandered back into his room. When he entered he found his friends trying to measure it.

"What are you two doing?" He asked leaning against the doorframe.

Chris and Steve turned to him slowly.

 "We were thinking about buy the place."

"Oh you were, were you?"

"It's a nice place," Steve said. "We were just seeing how big this room was.

"You guys can't buy it," Jensen said. He moved so that he was in front of the dresser with his back to his friends.

"Why the hell not?" Chris yelled.

"Cause I am not taking your money. You guys can just have it if you really want it."

"Really?"

"I'm hardly using it. Might as well get some use out of it. I'll start moving my stuff out of here in the next week or two."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, man. If you are pulling our legs I am going to beat the crap out of you," Chris told him.

"I'm serious. The place is all yours."

Chris and Steve rushed him, pulling him into a crushing hug.

"This totally makes up for you not telling us about your impending fatherhood," Chris said.

"Glad I could fix that," Jensen laughed. "But if you guys don't release me I won't be alive to see it happen."

"Sorry, man," the both whispered backing up and letting go of Jensen.

"So, Jared said that he's okay with you guys coming over so we better get going."

"We'll follow you there?"

"Sounds good."

***

Jensen couldn't help but laugh as he watched his friends interact with Jared. The younger man looked like he wasn't quite sure how to react around them. The two men had rushed Jared, pulling him into a hug like they had known each other for years. Now they sat in Jared's living room telling him stories about Jensen.

"Did he tell you what he did the morning he met you?" Chris asked. The man was on his third beer and working towards eating the second pepperoni pizza on his own. Jensen was pretty sure he'd be eyeing Jared's pizza as well if he hadn't covered it in peanut butter.

Jared shook his head unable to speak with a giant bite of pizza in his mouth.

"Do you need to tell this story?" Jensen moaned.

"Of course I do," Chris defended. "Anyways, he's got this girl in his bed and she's totally smoking. So Jen needs her out so he doesn't need to have that I'll see you again talk so he calls me at six o'clock in the morning telling me I've gotta get my ass to his place early so he can help me get this girl out of his apartment."

"Really?" Jared asked looking over at Jensen.

Jensen shrugged. "I was a dirt bag."

"So I get there and he's faking sleep. I bus threw the door pretending like I have no idea this chick is in there. He then proceeds to pretend like he's got no idea what he name is and she leaves in a hurry."

"And you guys did this often?"

"With every guy or girl he slept with until you," Chris said.

"Did you ever think of doing it to me?" Jared asked Jensen.

Jensen placed his beer down and walked over to sit on the arm of Jared's seat. He placed his hand on the baby bump and whispered: "does it look like I ever thought about doing that to you?"

"God, you two are cheesy," Steve yelled. He threw a wad up piece of napkin, hitting Jensen in the side of the head. "You're cavity inducing I swear."

"Better visit the dentist," Jensen joked.

"Did Jensen ever tell you what he did after he met you?" Steve asked.

Jared looked up at Jensen. "No," he whispered.

"I shot down every guy that came up to me at the concert. Thought about sleeping with one guy but he was no you so..."

"You haven't slept with anyone but me in the last several months?"

"Except for the night that this little guy was conceived," he mumbled stroking the bump softly, " I haven't slept with anyone."

"Wait!" Chris yelled, his pizza dropping onto his plate. "You two have only slept together once before Jared got pregnant?"

"Defective condom and my apparent super sperm caused this little buddle of joy to come into existence," Jensen confirmed.

"Damn you two work quickly," Steve joked. "But seriously, congrats guys. This couldn't have happened to a better couple."

"I agree," Jensen mumbled. He leaned down and kissed Jared's lips, tasting the jalapeno and peanut butter mixture in his boyfriend's mouth. He pulled back and made a face. "How in the hell did you eat that pizza?"

"It was what the baby wanted," Jared mumbled with a shrug. "It's better then what I had for lunch."

"I'm going to regret this but, what did you have for lunch?" Chris asked.

"Popcorn and pickle sandwich."

"That's it?"

Jared shook his head.

"What else did it have on it?"

"Chocolate sauce," Jared mumbled.

"That is nasty man," Chris said. "Do you eat anything normal now a days?"

"I have eggs for breakfast."

"You threw that up half an hour later," Jensen pointed out.

"So? I still ate it in the first place."

"Stop criticizing the pregnant man's eating habits," Steve said. "If he wants to eat gross food, let him. He's the one growing a human being inside of him as we speak."

Jensen felt his heart swell with love. "Yeah he is," he said. He pulled Jared into his arms again and kissed him hard. "And he is the most amazing person in the world for it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I update so much during the day do you guys prefer one or two longer chapters or several shorter chapters posted more frequently? Or do you just want me to update once a day with extremely long chapters? Or do you want me to scrap this and start a new? I just want to make you, my readers, happy.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jensen and Jared find out the gender of their baby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter with lots of fluff! All mistakes are my own.

Jared huffed out a breath. He was trying on his last pair of jeans to see if they would fit. When the button didn't even come anywhere near fastening he pulled the pants off and threw them across the room.

"Everything okay in here?" Jensen asked, popping his head out of the bathroom.

"I'm fat," he growled, pulling his pajama pants back on.

"You are not fat," Jensen said as he crossed the room to stand in front of Jared. He placed his hands on Jared's stomach. "You're pregnant and absolutely beautiful."

"Beautiful?" Jared scoffed. "I look like a whale."

"You don't look like a whale."

Stepping away from Jensen, Jared stared at himself in the full length mirror. "This," he said gesturing to his stomach, "is what a whale looks like."

"You're not even that big. You're only five months."

Jared ran his hands up and down his stomach lovingly. "Only four more months," he whispered. He turned back to Jensen. "Can you believe it?"

Jensen walked over and wrapped his arms around Jared, pulling him close to him. "I'd be lying if I said I've got my head around the idea."

"You haven't gotten the chance to feel the baby move yet. Once you feel that it will become real."

"Is the baby moving right now?" he asked moving his hand down to rest on the descended stomach in between them.

"I feel like it is always moving." Jared placed his head on Jensen's shoulder. "I can't wait until you get to feel the baby move."

Jensen dropped down so that he was kneeling in front of Jared. He pushed Jared's shirt up so that he could feel the skin underneath. Gently, he ran his hands up and down.

"I can't wait," he whispered into the skin. He kissed just under Jared's belly button. "I've got a surprise for you."

"You do?"

Crawling back, so that he could get the ground without accidently bumping Jared, he got up off the floor and headed over to the dresser. After digging around he pulled out a pair of jeans.

"Try these on," he said holding them out to Jared.

"Where did you get these?"

Jensen shrugged. "I bought them."

"When?"

"Just try them on for me."

Jared huffed. He sat down on the bed and took off his pajama pants then pulled on the jeans. When the button on the pants fastened a giant smile spread across Jared's face.

"They fit," he cheered.

"Look in the closet."

Jared moved to the closet and pulled open the door. Jensen watched as he pulled out a bag of clothes and started looking through it.

"You bought me a whole new wardrobe?"

"I noticed that some of your pants were starting to get a little bit tighter and I thought you'd appreciate some new clothes. The receipt is in the bag so if there is anything in there that you don't like you can just return it."

Jared nodded slowly. "Come here," he said.

Jensen moved to stand in front of Jared. "What?"

Without saying a word Jared opened Jensen's pants and removed his penis from his boxers.

"You're so good to me," he whispered as he slowly started stoking the shaft. "How did I get so lucky?"

"Jay you don't have to..."

Jensen cut himself off as Jared took him into his mouth. He hummed then looked up at Jensen.

"Fuck," Jensen breathed. He placed his hands on Jared's shoulders so that he could balance himself. "God you are beautiful."

Slowly, Jared started moving up and down Jensen's length. When he reached up to place his hand at the base where he just couldn't quite reach with his mouth, Jensen had to close his eyes or he was going to be coming embarrassingly quick. With his eyes shut he let the image dance around the back of his eyelids. But even with his eyes shut Jensen could already feel his orgasm building.

"Jay," he moaned.

"Hmm?" Jared hummed around his length again.

"It's been a while," he breathed. "I'm gonna come really soon."

Jared pulled off. "Then do it," he said before taking Jensen back into his mouth to the base.

Jensen could feel when his cock head his the back of Jared's throat. "Jared," he whispered just as his orgasm was ripped from him.

Jared pulled off at the same time, keeping just the head of Jensen's cock in his mouth as he came. With his hand he stroked Jensen through his orgasm while swallowing his release.

"Good?" he whispered looking up at Jensen.

Jensen nodded. He moved to the side and collapsed onto his stomach next to Jared.

"We've got to be at the doctor's office in twenty minutes," Jared told him.

"Leave me here to die in my peaceful sated realm," Jensen whispered.

"Really? And here I thought you would want to find out the gender of your baby," Jared said as he heaved himself off the bed.

Jensen was up in a second. "Just give me a minute," he yelled as he ran into the bathroom to get cleaned up.

***

Ten minutes ago Jensen was beyond excited for this appointment. Now that he was sitting in the doctor's office staring at the grainy screen though, he was scared as hell. He had one of his hands in Jared's and the other fisted into his jeans pocket trying to get it to stop shaking.

"Everything looks right on track," the doctor told them after several minutes of silence. He turned to them with a smile on his face. "Did you want to know the gender of the baby?"

Jensen looked down at Jared. "It's up to you, Jay."

Jared nodded. "I want to know."

"Okay," the doctor said. He started moving the transmitter again then stopped on the lower half of the baby. "You two are having a boy."

Jared looked up at Jensen. "You hear that Jen? A boy."

Jensen squeezed Jared's hand softly. When he tried to speak it came out as a squeak. He cleared his throat and looked back over at the monitor. The tiny baby was squirming around in the womb, kicking its little feet around and waving its hands. He longed to be able to touch Jared's stomach and feel the movement. Right after that thought occurred to him the transmitter bounced at the same time that the baby on the screen kicked.

"Was...was that the baby?" Jensen asked.

The doctor laughed. "Seems to me the little guy is not enjoying the invasion of his space," he said as he pressed some buttons on the machine. "I'm just going to print out some copies real quick so that I can give him some room."

After a quick meeting with the doctor Jensen helped Jared into the car. His boyfriend was staring down at the little ultra sound picture and hadn't said a word since they left the office. It wasn't until Jensen had tucked Jared into the bed that he spoke.

"I never got this far the last time," he whispered still staring down at the picture.

"How long had you known about the baby before it died?" Jensen asked. He ran a hand up and down Jared's back trying to sooth the younger man.

"About an hour."

"Did you want it to be a boy or a girl?"

"I wanted it to be alive."

Jensen wiped the tear that had fallen from his eyes away. "I bet it would have been an amazing brother or sister to this little guy if it had lived. But I think anything with your genes would be amazing."

"Would it be okay if I named him?" Jared asked softly. "I have sort of had names picked out since...ever."

"Of course you can name him. Whatever you like. As long as it's not Jared or Jensen junior," he joked.

Jared laughed. "I was sort of think Duncan."

"Duncan, huh?" Jensen placed his head on Jared's shoulder and looked down at the ultra sound picture. "I think that is a perfect name for him."

"Jen," Jared squeaked suddenly sitting up causing Jensen to fall backwards.

"Are you okay? Is something wrong?"

Jared shook his head. "Here," he said grabbing Jensen's hand and placing it on his stomach. "Did you feel that?"

Jensen withdrew his hand quickly when he felt the quick jab to his hand. "Was that...?"

"I think he likes his name," Jared whispered.

"Can I?" Jensen asked, his hand hovering over Jared's stomach.

"You don't have to ask permission," Jared told him. He grabbed Jensen's hand and placed it on his stomach again. "This is your baby too. You never have to ask permission to feel him kick."

Jensen smiled and looked down at his hand. Only an hour ago he was dreaming of being able to do this and now he actually was. He couldn't believe it was possible to feel any more love towards this child then he already did. But here he was crying his eyes out in bed with his boyfriend while their baby kicked against his hand.

"I love you," he whispered kissing Jared's lips softly. He moved down Jared's body and came to a stop just over his stomach. "And I love you too," he whispered to it. "I can't wait to meet you."

Jared ran his hands threw Jensen's hair. "I love you too."

***

"A boy?" Jensen's mom, Donna, yelled into the phone. "My baby boy is having a baby boy?"

"Yeah ma, we're having a boy," he told her for the millionth time.

"Alan?" He heard her yell away from the phone. "Alan it's a boy!"

There was a scuffling on the other side of the phone before his father said: "You're having a boy?"

"Yes dad, we're having a boy," he said again rolling his eyes.

"You got a name for him yet?"

"Duncan Alan Padalecki-Ackles."

Jensen heard his dad clear his throat. "Alan?"

"Yeah, dad, Alan. Jared got to pick the first name and I got to pick the middle. I figured I would chose the name of one of the greatest men I know."

"I love you, son," Alan whispered.

"I love you too, dad. I can't wait till you and mom get home so you can see the scans of the little guy."

"We'll be home in a few days," he told him. "We'll have dinner in Canton so that Jared doesn't have to take the trip all the way to San Antonio. Okay?"

"Yeah, dad. I'm looking forward to it. Call me in a few days?"

"Of course. I'll talk to you soon."

***

"Look at his little hands," Megan gushed as she stared at the ultra sound pictures. "Oh Jared, I can already tell he is going to be cute."

"With these two as the fathers I have no doubt about that," Sherri said as she walked into the room with a tray of food in her hands.

Jared eyes lit up when she saw what she was carrying. "Is that..."

"Peanut butter and pickle sandwich with barbeque chips," she said placing the sandwich in front of him. "I remember you telling me that you sometimes got a craving for them in the afternoon."

"You're the greatest mother in the world," Jared told her around a giant bite of his sandwich.

"Well I try," she joked. She sat down on the couch next to Megan and looked down at the scans. "You name him yet?"

"Duncan Alan Padalecki-Ackles," Jensen said. "Jared picked the first name and I picked the middle."

"You named him Duncan?" Megan whispered.

Jared nodded his head. He placed the sandwich down onto the plate and swallowed.

"You knew about the name Duncan?"

Megan nodded, wiping a tear away. "I was really young when Jared lost the first baby. I was really confused about how it happened and why. One night I came crying to Jared and he held me and told me that his baby wouldn't want me to cry for it. I asked what he would have named it and he told me either Duncan or Kendra. I used to write Duncan and Kendra inside little hearts in my note books at school."

"I never knew that," Jared whispered. "How come you never told me?"

"I knew how much it hurt to think about the baby for the first couple of years so I didn't want to mention it to you." She shrugged.

"So if our baby was a girl you would have named her Kendra?" Jensen asked.

"Would you have minded?"

"Kendra Sherri? Or Kendra Donna? Which would have sounded better?"

Sherri laughed. "You're a good man, Jensen Ackles," she whispered. "I wish you have come into Jared's life earlier."

"I do too," he whispered.

"Well he's here now and that is all that matters," Jared mumbled, wiping away the tears that had started falling. "Now if you'll excuse me, Duncan is using my bladder as a soccer ball and I really need to pee."

***

Jeff and Chad both took the news oddly. Chad took it as an opportunity to punch Jensen really hard in the arm and call him an asshole. When Jensen asked him why he was an asshole Chad had just shrugged. Jeff on the other hand cried. The taller man wrapped his arms around Jared and cried into the top of his brothers head. When he was done he wrapped his arms around Jensen and told him he was extremely happy for the both of them.

Steve and Chris on the other hand didn't react at all. They just nodded their head and congratulated Jensen and Jared on their impending fatherhood. But after a few beers and Jared going to bed they finally opened up.

"It's weird man," Steve mumbled.

"What is?" Jensen asked.

"You being a dad. I mean I knew it was happening but now that you know the gender and the little guy is moving it just seems...real."

Chris nodded. "You never struck me as the type of guy who would want kids."

"That's because before Jared I didn't think about having kids. I was too busy running around having sex with strangers. Jared changed all  that."

"So you're saying if you never met Jared you wouldn't have had kids? Ever?"

"Probably not," he told them.

"You scared?"

"I'm terrified. I mean anything can happen at any minute. I am so out of my depth here that it makes me so uncomfortable but I know that at the end of this tunnel is the greatest gift in the world. How many gay men can say they can have a baby with the man that he loves?"

Chris patter Jensen's knee. "So you do realize how lucky you are?"

"I thank God everyday that I get to wake up next to Jared. That I get to spend time with him, that I get to have this baby with him."

"I thought you didn't believe in God?" Steve asked.

"Obviously something in this universe loves me enough to over look my mistakes and led me to that man sleeping in the other room."

"Maybe its karma? You had to deal with a shit relationship in your early years so now you get Jared to make up for it?"

"Then why the hell is Jared with me?"

Chris scooted closer to Jensen and threw an arm around his shoulder. "You sell yourself too short Jensen. You're a good man. I know you don't think you are but you are."

"You were singing a different tune just eleven months ago," he mumbled.

"That's cause you were doing scumbag things back then and I was trying to knock some sense into that head of yours."

Jensen laughed. "I really was a scumbag, huh?"

"You were lost. Now you're not."

"How in the hell did I manage to get two get friends in my life?"

"You give us beer," Steve said.

"And you're a pretty good friend yourself. If you weren't I would have stopped talking to you years ago."

"Well thanks for sticking with me. I don't know what I would have done without you guys."

"Probably crashed and burned years ago," Chris told him.

"Probably," he muttered. He stood up and clapped his hands softly. "I am heading to bed. I've got a gorgeous man sleeping in a bed and I want to cuddle with him."

"See you in the morning," Steve said as he settled into the couch.

"I expect waffles in the morning," Chris called as he head in the direction of the guest room.

When Jensen entered the bedroom he found Jared lying on top of the blankets on nothing but his boxers, his stomach on full display. Jensen could feel his mouth going dry as he stared at Jared. Before his boyfriend got pregnant he was gorgeous, now he was absolutely stunning. No one in Jensen's opinion came close to how beautiful and amazing Jared looked in his current state.

"You just going to stare at me or are you going to come to bed?" Jared whispered.

"I didn't know you were awake," he said as he stripped out of his clothes and slipped into bed.

"I wasn't," Jared muttered, turning on his side and placing his head on Jensen's chest. "But it felt like someone was staring at me and I got really uncomfortable."

"Sorry," he whispered. "I just can't get over how beautiful you are."

"Flattery will get you everywhere," Jared said. "But not tonight."

"Should I be prepared for a hormone filled morning?"

"You should always be prepared for that," Jared yawned. "I am like crazy horny twenty four seven."

"I like the sound of that."

Jared's snoring was the answer he got to that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really do love writing fluff. It makes me so happy.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jensen is so done with having a boyfriend.

If you asked Jensen what was his favorite way to wake up he'd tell you there wasn't one. Jensen was not a morning person. Usually it took him four cups of coffee to even consider being awake. That was until Jared got pregnant. Now he had a favorite way of waking up: Jared's mouth wrapped around him.  
"Fuck," he swore dragging the 'u' out. "Good fucking morning."  
Jared's looked up and his ever changing eyes locked with his. He hummed along Jensen's length then slowly slid his mouth off.  
"Good morning," he said. He moved up Jensen's body and kissed his lips.

"You sure know how to wake a man up."

"I'm not done."

It was just now that Jensen realized that Jared was completely naked. Curious, he snaked a hand behind Jared and gasped.

"You opened yourself up?" He whispered.

Jared bit his lip and nodded. He moved quickly and suddenly Jensen was sheathed all the way inside Jared.

"Shit," Jensen yelled.

"Don't move," Jared groaned out.

Jensen ran his hands up and down Jared's side trying to calm the younger man. "Wouldn't dream of it," he whispered.

They sat like that for a few short minutes before Jared started moving up and down his length slowly. Jensen grabbed his hips and held on. Eventually he couldn't take anymore of his passive role and started fucking up into Jared.

"Jen?" Jared whispered.

"Tell me what you need, Jay."

"That," he breathed out when Jensen managed to hit his prostate. "Do that again."

"I'm trying," he grunted. "I can't get the right angle."

Jared pushed Jensen down and scrambled off of him. The younger man  got on his hands and knees, turning his head to look at Jensen.

"Jensen," he whined.

"Sorry, sorry," Jensen mumbled scrambling so he could position himself behind Jared.

Jensen pushed back into Jared; setting a fast but gentle pace. With this new angle he was hitting Jared's prostate on almost every trust making the younger man let out beautiful noises. Jensen snaked a hand around Jared's large stomach and started stroking his leaking length. After a few awkward strokes he managed to match the strokes with his thrusting.

"I'm gonna...I'm gonna..."

"Come for me," Jensen whispered into Jared's back. "Come on Jared, come for me."

Jared let out a strangled cry as he came all over Jensen's fist and his own chest. Jensen continued to stroke him through it until Jared tried to push his hand away.

"Can't," he breathed. "Jen..."

Jensen pulled out and stroked himself until he came.

Jared turned to look at him with a frown on his face. "I would have done that," he whispered. Still looking upset he moved so that he sat in front of Jensen. "Why didn't you want me to..."

"Jay," Jensen said cutting him off. "I didn't want to push it."

"But...but..." Jared looked away. "I wanted to."

"Are you crying?"

Jared shook his head.   
"I'm sorry," Jensen said moving closer.

Jared stood and walked out of the room to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. Confused, Jensen scrambled off the bed. The door was locked.

"Jay?" He called into the bathroom, knocking on the door. "Jared? Open the door."

"Go away," Jared yelled.

"Come one Jared, open the door. I'm sorry."

"Is it because I am fat?" He heard Jared say.

"What?"

"Is it because I am fat?" He repeated.

"Jared I don't understand."

The door flung open revealing a distraught looking Jared. "Did you not let me help you come because I am fat?" He asked. "Am I not attractive to you anymore?"

"What?" Jensen asked dumbly. "You think I don't find you attractive?"

"I couldn't even make you come," he sobbed. "You had to close your eyes and finish yourself."

Jensen wrapped his arms around Jared and pulled him close. "No," he whispered. "I find you extremely attractive. I find you stunning. You are the prettiest person I have ever seen."

"Then why?"

"You were too sensitive for me to ask for anymore. I just wanted you to be comfortable."

"Did you at least enjoy yourself?"

"Did I enjoy myself? You woke me up with a blowjob then attempted to ride me. I severely enjoyed myself."

 "So I don't gross you out?" Jared whispered.

Jensen pulled back so that he could look up at his boyfriend. "I could never fine you gross. When I look at you I see the most stunning person alive."

"Even with my stomach this big?" He asked looking down at his stomach.

"Especially because your stomach is this big." Jensen stepped back further so that he could place his hands on said stomach. "I love the way you look right now. I've never been this turned on by someone in my life."

"Does that mean you are going to keep me pregnant all the time?"

"Only if you want me to."

Jared smiled. "You really want a big family?"

"Jared I would love to have a big family with you."

"You are the greatest man who has ever lived," Jared told him.

"No I'm not," he dismissed.

"Yes you are," Jared said cupping Jensen's face. "You could have left when you found out about the baby but you stayed. I gave you an out and you refused to take it. There are plenty of men who would have ran away and never looked back."

"There are also a lot of men who stay," Jensen pointed out.

"You're one of the good ones, Jen. And I would know because I've dated some serious scumbags in my life. I'm glad that Duncan is yours. I just wish..." Jared looked away unable to finish his thought.

"What? What do you wish?"

"Jensen?" Steve yelled from the other side of the bedroom door. "Is everything okay in there?"

"We're good," Jensen yelled back.

"You two coming out anytime soon? Chris couldn't wait so he made breakfast."

"What did he make?" Jared asked.

"Waffles."

"We'll be right out," Jared yelled as he retreated into the bathroom again. Jensen hadn't even gotten  the chance to move before Jared was out of the bathroom, completely dressed, and running leaving the room.

"Where are you going?" Jensen called after him.

"Waffles, Jensen," Jared yelled back.

Jensen dressed quickly and joined the other three men in the kitchen. When he entered the room he found Jared at the table with a plate stacked high with waffles.

"What is that on top of those?" He asked hesitantly.

"You do not want to know," Chris told him.

"You make coffee?"

Steve scoffed. "Like we'd be stupid not to," he said passing Jensen a steaming cup.

"You're lucky that never made me sick," Jared mumbled around a mouth full of waffle. "I would have banned that stuff from the house."

"Thank you for not expelling the elixir of life from the house," Jensen said. "I would have been finding ways to have it behind your back."

"Cheating on me coffee?" Jared gasped.

"Anything to have the beautiful drink," Jensen told him.

"You're a monster," Jared growled.

Jensen moved to Jared's side and kissed his hard on the lips. "But you love me anyways."

Jared smiled then looked down at his stomach. "Duncan likes waffles," he said with a dreamy look on his face.

"Is the little guy kicking?"

"He's moving a lot right now. I think he is having problems getting comfortable."

Jensen ran a hand along Jared stomach. "He's going to have to deal with a lot less space in a few months," he whispered.

"Not that you two aren't adorable or anything but some of us are trying to eat here," Chris mumbled.

"Shut up," Steve said elbowing Chris in the ribs. "Let them have their moment."

"They already had their moment this morning. I could hear them fucking all the way in the kitchen."

"Well that is extremely embarrassing," Jared mumbled. "I'm..."

"Don't you dare apologize," Steve drawled. "It is perfectly fine for you two to want to have sex in your own house."

"Damn right it is," Jensen growled possessively.

"Besides, if Chris had that big of a problem with it he could have just put in the headphones he carries with him all over the place."

Chris grumbled something under his breath.

"What was that Chris?" Jensen asked leaning closer to him friend.

"Nothing," he whispered.

"That's what I thought," Steve laughed.

"So, what are you guys doing today?" Chris asked trying to divert the attention from him.

"Jensen got us dinner reservations in Dallas," Jared said. He stood and walked over to the sink so that he could clean his plate off. "Apparently today is our seven month anniversary so he wants to celebrate."

"You're keeping track of that?" Steve asked feigning not knowing Jensen's plans.

"Damn right I am. This is the longest relationship I have ever been in. I want to celebrate every milestone I can."

"You're cheesy," Chris teased.

"I'm cute," Jensen shot back.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Chris mumbled trying to hide his smile.

"I've gotta get dressed and head out to work for a while," Jensen said standing up. He walked over to where Jared was and kissed the younger mans lips. "I'll see you later. I love you."

"I love you too," Jared whispered against his lips.

"We love you too," Chris and Steve chorused.

"Shut up," Jensen groaned. He dropped his hand to Jared's stomach and rubbed it gently. "I love you," he whispered just loud enough for only Jared to hear him.

"That kick I just got to the ribs must mean I love you too," Jared laughed. "Now hurry or you're going to be late for your meeting."

"I love you," he said one more time before heading towards the bedroom to get changed.

***

Jensen was shaking. In all his life he could never remember being this nervous. But he knew that in a few minutes his nerves would be a thing of the past. He stared over at Jared again and watched as the man enjoyed his dessert.

"You liking that?" He asked, his voice shaking.

Jared's eyes snapped up. "It is amazing," he whispered. "You want some?"

Jensen was about to puke. Dinner had been a struggle enough no way he would be able to eat chocolate cake.

"Isn't it illegal to steal a pregnant person's dessert?" He joked.

"I offered you some you weren't stealing any," Jared said. He looked Jensen up and down. "Everything okay with you?"

"Is everything okay with me? I'm fine. In fact I am great. Why is there something wrong with you?"

"No," Jared said slowly. "Jen, why are you acting so weird?"

"Weird? Am I acting weird?"

"Yes. You've been extremely quiet all night and you're starting to worry me. What's wrong?"

"I don't want to be your boyfriend anymore," he blurted.

Jared dropped his fork. "What?"

"I don't want to be your boyfriend anymore."

"O-okay," Jared stuttered. "What changed your mind?"

"Duncan."

Jared's hands flew to his stomach. "But you said..."

"I know what I said. I said I wanted to be there for you and Duncan but I never said I wanted to be your boyfriend."

"I don't understand," Jared whispered. "We were fine this morning."

"Yes we were," Jensen admitted. "But I want more."

"More?"

Jensen nodded. Slowly, he rose from his chair and kneed next to Jared. He pulled out the velvet box he'd been carrying in his pocket since he returned home from New York and placed showed it to Jared.

"I knew you were the one since I saw you at that bar in Dallas. I'd like to think that it was love at first sight. I believe I have been blessed by whatever deity it is that looks down on me because you are the most amazing person I have ever met. I want to have you in my life until the day I shrivel up and die. I want to be there for you and Duncan and any other little half you and me's we can create. I love you Jared. Will you marry me?"

Jared looked between Jensen and the box a few times before slapping Jensen on the arm. "You asshole," he whispered. "I thought you were breaking up with me."

"I surprised you, huh?"

"Yes," he said.

"Is that a yes to my proposal or yes to it being a surprise?"

"It's a yes to both."

Jensen jumped up and threw his arms around Jared, pulling the taller man to his feet. "I love you, I love you, I love you," he chanted.

"I love you too," he sobbed.

"Atta boy Jensen," Jeff yelled from behind them.

Jared stepped out of Jensen's arms and looked at his brother. "What are you doing here?"

"Surprise!" His family yelled, stepping out from behind a partition.

 "What are all y'all doing here?" Jared asked.

"Jensen invited us," his father told him.

"He wanted us to be part of the celebration," his mother said.

Jared turned to Jensen. "Why?"

"They've seen you go through a lot of hard times and I wanted them to see you go through some good times too."

Jared threw his arms around Jensen. "You really are the most amazing man in the world," he whispered.

"No Jay, that title belong to you."

***

Jensen rolled off Jared and pulled the younger man against his side.

"You okay?" he panted.

Jared pushed I lock of hair out of his face. "I think that is the greatest sex we have ever had," he admitted.

"Yeah I'm pretty awesome."

"Jerk," Jared mumbled slapping Jensen lightly.

"Were you surprised?"

"By how great the sex was?"

"No by my proposal."

Jared nodded.

"Really?" Jensen asked pulling away a little so he could look at Jared better. "You really didn't think I'd ask you to marry me?"

"I just didn't think it would be so soon," he admitted. "I thought you would wait until after Duncan was born."

"Why'd you think that."

Jared shrugged. "I guess in the back of my mind you are always thirty seconds away from being done with me."

"I could never be done with you," Jensen told him. "How could I be done with the man who is having my baby?"

"I'm not exactly stable," he mumbled.

"Yeah, well, sometimes I'm not either."

"You're a lot better than me."

"I'm just a really good actor. I am a commitment phobe with a long list of one night stands to my name."

"So?"

"So, we all have flaws Jay. We all have things that we find to be nonredeemable. We just got to find someone who believes that is willing to find our redeemable qualities and stick with us we deal with the nonredeemable ones."

"And have you found me redeemable qualities yet?"

"I'm still looking for the nonredeemable one," Jensen whispered.

"Flatterer," he mumbled.

"It's the truth."

"Go to sleep," Jared grumbled turning on his side to face away from Jensen.

"I love you," Jensen whispered. He wrapped his arm around Jared and placing his hand on his stomach.

"I love you too," he heard Jared whisper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was that what you were expecting? It probably was. I know its cheesy but I wanted them to have some more happy moments. And sex. I also wanted them to have sex.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was really hard to write/finish. Hope you like it. And like always all mistakes are my own.

"Oh my God," Jared heard Jensen yell from somewhere in the house.

"Jensen, are you okay?"

"Jay, get in here now," he shouted.

Jared moved as fast as his seven month belly would allow him to get to where Jensen was. He found his fiancé curled up on the couch with his laptop in his lap.

"What is it?"

Jensen jumped up off the couch, his laptop just nearly falling on the floor, and rushed over to Jared. The older man wrapped his arms around Jared's waist and pulled him as close as he could.

"Someone wants to sign Robert," he said. "They want to sign him as a player. Want him to start in their minor league system as soon as possible."

"Does that usually happen?"

Jensen shook his head. "People who are working as equipment managers don't usually get signed up teams. This is the greatest news ever."

Jared stepped out of Jensen's arms. "Ever?" He asked running a hand along his stomach.

"For Robert it is," Jensen rectified. "For me it is like top five."

"Good answer," Jared whispered. "You should probably call Robert."

"Damn, right. I should probably inform my client of the news," he said running out of the room. Twenty minutes later he emerge from the bedroom completely dressed. "I've gotta head to San Antonio."

"Are you going to come home tonight?" Jared asked Jensen's retreating back.

"I hope so. We have a lot of stuff to go over and then I am going to take him out to celebrate. Don't wait up."

The door slammed as Jensen exited the house. Jared stood there looking at the place Jensen had vacated not even twenty minutes before. Suddenly an overwhelming urge to cry hit him and he had to sit down as sobs rocked through his body. He hated how rejected he was feeling. Jensen had never left the house without telling him he loved him before. Since Jared gotten pregnant he'd never left in such a hurry that he hadn't touched Jared's belly and told Duncan he loved him.

"I love you too," he mumbled into the quiet house.

***

Jared spent the day by himself. He cleaned the house as much as he could before he got too tired and head to take a nap. Once he was done with that he went into the guest room and tried to figure out how he was going to turn it into a nursery. He just kept moving around trying to forget how bad Jensen had made him feel that morning.

At around nine o'clock that night Jared collapsed into bed. He had to switch his pillows with Jensen's because he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep without the smell of Jensen's aftershave around him. The older man had only been gone for a day and he already felt alone. Duncan kicking him in the rib reminded him that he wasn't completely alone.

"You awake in there?" Jared asked his belly. He soothed his hand near the top of his stomach. "I'm sorry if I made you feel sad today. It's just your daddy made me feel sad. I'm not used to him not showering me with love before he leaves the house."

Duncan kicked him in the hand.

"I know he is busy and happy for Robert for he made me feel like we aren't important to him. Is that selfish of me?"

Jared could feel Duncan rolling under his hand.

"I'll take that as a no," he whispered. "You think you can go to sleep?"

Duncan kicked him in the rib again.

"I'll take that also as a no. Just, try not to make me have to get up every hour, okay?"

The movement in Jared's belly stilled for a moment. Then a little jab to the bladder made him have to get up and use the bathroom.

***

A ringing phone woke Jared up a few hours after he fell asleep. Groggily he turned on his side so that he could pick up his cell. When it was close enough to his blurry eyes that he could see who was calling a smile form on his face.

"Hey Jen," he whispered into the phone.

"You should come back to my place," he heard a female voice say.

"I can't," a male voice, he thinks it was Jensen, responded.

"Why not?"

"I've gotta get home."

"You're too drunk to drive," the female voice said. "I think you should come back to our place and sleep it off."

"I think that is a great idea," a male voice said. "There is no way you can drive home to Canton tonight."

"But I've gotta get home to Jared," Jensen argued.

"You can't in your condition," the female voice said. "You should probably come home with me."

Jensen's said something in response that Jared couldn't quite make out.

"Please?" The female voice pleaded.

"Fine," a voice, Jared couldn't tell who's, said.

There was a squeal from the female before the rustling of clothing then the phone call ended.

Jared removed the phone from his ear and looked down at it. Had Jensen just agreed to go home with someone? Was Jensen going to cheat on Jared? He looked down at the ring he had on his finger then down at his pregnant stomach. Slowly he removed the ring and placed it on the bedside table with his cell phone. Turning carefully, he laid on his side and cried himself to sleep.

***

Jared woke up to the sound of someone letting themselves into the house. For a split second his heart soared thinking that it was Jensen but then it dropped quickly when he remembered the conversation he had overheard. He burrowed himself deeper into the blankets and shut his eyes again. The bed dipped next to him and he could smell Jensen's aftershave and for once in their relationship it brought him no comfort.

"Jay? You awake?" Jensen whispered.

Jared turned away so that his back was facing Jensen.

"Jared, what's wrong?" Jensen asked as he ran his hand up and down Jared's spine.

"Go away Jensen," he whispered.

Jensen's hand stilled on his back. "Are you mad at me?"

"Who was she?"

"What?"

"The girl you went home with last night."

"You mean Candice?"

"Candice? That's her name?"

"Yeah...wait how did you know?"

Jared sat up so he could look at Jensen. "You accidently called me last night," he told him. "I overheard your conversation with her."

Jensen's eyes blew wide and he scrambled to get the phone out of his pocket. He looked at his outgoing calls and swore. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I didn't mean to wake you up at one in the morning."

"That is what you are concerned about? That you woke me up?"

"The doctor said..."

"I can't believe you," Jared shouted. "You cheated on me and your concerned about what the doctor said?"

"Cheated on you? Jared what the hell are you talking about?"

"I heard the conversation Jensen and I'm not stupid. You got drunk last night and slept with some woman you met at the bar."

"Are you serious? You really think I would jeopardize everything I have with you to sleep with some stranger?"

"If the shoe fits," Jared mumbled.

Jensen jumped off the bed like it was made of lava. "You've got to be fucking kidding me," he yelled.

"You cheated on me and now you think you have the right to yell at me? Who the fuck do you think you are?"

"I didn't cheat on you," Jensen yelled. "I went home with Robert and his wife last night because they didn't want me to wrap my car around a tree trying to get home to you."

"And I'm just supposed to believe that?"

"If you trusted me you would."

"You left here yesterday in such a hurry you didn't even say goodbye to me."

"Is that what this is all about?"

"No," Jared spat. "This is about you sleeping with other people."

"The only person I have slept with in the last year is you, Jared. I haven't even looked at another person long enough to even think about sleeping with them."

"I wish I could believe that," he whispered.

Jensen's shoulders slumped. He nodded his head slowly and turned to walk out of the room.

"Where are you going?" Jared shouted after him.

"Back to San Antonio."

"So you're just gonna leave me?"

Jensen spun around. "Yes, Jared, I am just going to leave you because apparently that's what you think I am going to do. It doesn't matter that I have done nothing but try to prove to you that I have changed you just want to lump me in with all of your exes. It doesn't matter that I proposed to you and promised to take care of you for the rest of our lives because you don't trust me. So yes I am going to leave you."

"But what about Duncan?"

"I'll still be there for him because he is my son but I can't deal with this anymore."

"Jen I...shit," Jared gasped.

"Jared?" Jensen rushed forward and sat down next to Jared. "What is it?"

"Something's wrong," he whispered.

"With Duncan?"

Jared nodded.

"Do you think..."

"Jensen," Jared whispered. "I can't lose him."

"You're not going to," he whispered. "I'm going to get you to the hospital, okay?"

Jared made a whining noise in the back of his throat. The pain he was feeling was overwhelming and it was stealing his voice.

"Can you stand?" Jensen asked him.

Jared shook his head.

Jensen sighed heavily, running his hands through his hair. "Okay," he whispered. "I'm going to call an ambulance."

After a quick call to 911 Jensen sat back down next to Jared on the bed. He grabbed Jared's hands and kissed his knuckles.

"Please don't leave me," Jared whispered. "I do trust you."

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm never going to leave you."

Jared nodded as another pain ripped through him.

"And I'm sorry I left yesterday without telling you I love you and Duncan. I was just so excited for Robert that I got caught up in the moment. If this is karma for that I am sorry you are being dragged into this."

"Just promise me you'll do everything in your power to save him," Jared whispered.

"I'll do everything in my power to save BOTH of you."

The sound of sirens had Jensen running to the front door to let the EMT's into the house. Five minutes later Jensen came back in followed by the two EMT's.

"Can you answer some questions for us?" One of them asked as he rushed to Jared's side.

Jared nodded.

"Okay. How far along are you?"

"Seven months."

"Is this your first pregnancy?"

"I was pregnant when I was sixteen but I miscarried after being attacked."

The EMT's finished checking over Jared and moved him over to the stretcher. As they were wheeling him out of the house he remembered that he removed his ring.

"Jensen?"

"Yeah, Jay?"

"I left my ring on the night side table. I removed it last night because..."

"I'll grab it," he told him disappearing from beside Jared.

"Can we wait for him?" Jared asked the EMT's as they loaded him into the back of the ambulance.

"We really need to hurry," the EMT told him.

"But..."

"I've got it," Jensen yelled as he ran out of the house and jumped into the ambulance. Carefully he moved to Jared's side and slid the ring back onto his finger. "How are you feeling?"

Jared whimpered. "Like I am going to lose him."

"Well you're not," Jensen told him. "Right?" He asked the EMT.

"We're going to do our best," he said.

Jensen kissed Jared's knuckles. "It's going to be okay," he whispered. "I promise."

***

The hospital room was quiet except for the steady beeping of several machines. Jensen was pretty sure that he was going to crawl out of his own skin at any moment. He was sitting in an uncomfortable chair sitting next to a sleeping Jared with his hand on Jared's stomach. Duncan was currently kicking his hand and Jensen was convinced there was no better feeling then that.

"Hey baby," Jensen whispered into the air. "You gave your papa and I a bit of a scare there for a moment. Doctor tell us that your papa was stressed out and I know that was all my fault and I'm sorry for that. I feel like a real asshole for causing all of this."

"It's not all your fault," Jared whispered.

"Yes it is," he said. "He said your blood pressure had been extremely high. It wouldn't have been that bad if I hadn't left you the way I did yesterday morning."

"I shouldn't have gotten so upset by it. And I should have listened to you this morning when you told me you didn't cheat on me."

"I shouldn't have threatened to leave you like that."

"I shouldn't have..."

"Sh," Jensen shushed, running his hand through Jared's hair. "Neither of us is going to win this. All that matters is that you two are both okay."

Jared ran his hand up and down his stomach. "I was so scared we were going to lose him."

"Me too," Jensen admitted. "But he's okay now."

Jared nodded.

"I am going to tell you this now so that in the future you can never think differently: I am all in. I am never going to leave you. You are it for me. Got it?"

"Yes," Jared whispered. "I'm sorry I doubted you."

Jensen waved a dismissive hand. "I'll just blame it on the hormones," he joked.

"I love you," Jared said.

"I love you too," Jensen replied. He leaned down and kissed Jared's blanket covered stomach. "And I love Duncan too. And I promise I will always tell you that. Even when it is just leaving the same room as you. I never want you to think that I don't."

"I do believe that. I just let my head get all clouded by the conversation and hormones."

Jensen sighed deeply. "I'm really tired."

"Then go home. I'm not going anywhere for the next day or two."

"I'm not leaving your side until you are out of the hospital."

"Well, that is unreasonable."

Jensen shrugged and settled further into the chair. "I'm not letting you out of my sight until I know for sure that you are one hundred percent okay."

"Fine," Jared huffed.

Jensen smirked and closed his eyes. "You should get some sleep too," he told him.

"I'm not tired."

"Will at least try to sleep?"

"Fine," he mumbled.

Jensen opened his eyes and watched Jared to make sure that the younger man was attempting to fall asleep. Not even ten minutes later Jared's breathing evened out and he began to snore.

"Not tired my ass," Jensen whispered before falling asleep himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I thought up this chapter Jared kicked Jensen out and they broke up. Instead this happened. The only thing that actually went the way I wanted it too was Robert's contract and Jared overhearing the conversation. In my head in went so much worse but I really couldn't do that to Jared.   
> Also if anyone is a baseball fan you'd know that I took Robert's story from a real life event. The Red Sox have a player named Daniel Nava who was the equipment manager for an independent team before he was bought for one dollar. Now he is an everyday player with the Red Sox and is one of their best players.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter. Sorry. And like always all mistakes are my own.

The day Jared went into labor was the scariest day of Jensen's life. Jared had barely entered his eighth month of pregnancy when his contractions started. Everything was happening so quickly and before he knew it he was watching an unconscious Jared being wheeled into surgery.

"He's going to be okay," Jeff reassured him. "They both are."

"I was supposed to be in there with him," Jensen whispered, falling down onto a chair.

"He's in good hands. You need to stop worrying."

"Stop worry?" Jensen snapped. "How am I supposed to stop worrying? My life is in that operating room, Jeff. What if something happens?"

"Nothing is going to happen. Jared and Duncan are going to be alright."

Jensen stood and started pacing. He was still pacing when a doctor entered the waiting room.

"Please tell me everything went well," he pleaded.

"Jared and the baby are both doing well," the doctor told him. "The baby was under weight though."

"How under weight?"

"He only weighed in at five pounds."

"But other than that he is okay right?"

"He's lungs are still a little under developed so he is having problems breathing on his own. Along with trouble maintaining his own body warmth and not being able to feed properly he is more than likely going to be in an incubator in the NICU for a little while."

Jensen nodded feeling his heart drop. "How about Jared?"

"Jared is doing well. He is currently still unconscious but he will be awake in the next hour or so."

"When can I see my son?"

"They are going to want to complete their tests and then get him set up in the incubator before anyone can see him. I'll makes sure to have a nurse come and get you when it is alright to see him."

Jensen shook the doctors hand. "Thank you."

The doctor shook his hand then led Jensen to Jared room. After entering the room Jensen sat down and waited from Jared to wake up.

***

"He's so small," Jared whispered. He was sitting in a wheelchair, still too weak to walk on his own, looking down at Duncan.

"He's a good looking little boy though, huh?"

"He is very cute."

"I think we should some more. Just to make sure they all come out this cute."

Jared elbowed Jensen. "Can we wait until this one is at least out of the incubator before we have this discussion?"

"I guess," Jensen huffed sarcastically.

"Did they say when we will be able to hold him?"

"In a few days," a nurse said as she entered the room. "They did another round of test on him this morning and it looks like he is doing better than they first thought."

"Is that why there are less tubes?" Jensen asked.

"Less tubes? You mean there were more before?"

"They removed his breathing tube this morning," the nurse informed them.

Jared looked down at their son. "Do you know how much longer until we can take him home?"

"I want to say a week but the doctor might say a little longer. If you're lucky he will be ready to leave around the same time you are."

"Really?" Jensen whispered.

"Yes. Do you two have your nursery ready for when this little guy is ready to go?"

Jared nodded.

"That's good." She gathered up her supplied and turned to smile at them. "You have a very cute baby," she said as she exited the room.

"I told you," Jensen joked.

***

The first time Jensen held Duncan he cried. The baby had looked up at him with his cloudy blue eyes and he just lost it. He was shaking so hard he had to pass him to Jared so that he could excuse himself from the room.

"You alright?" Jared asked when Jensen came back into the room.

Jensen nodded. "That was embarrassing," he said, wiping at his tear streaked cheeks.

"I thought it was adorable," Jared whispered.

"I just...I never thought that this would happen to me. I always thought I'd be just me for the rest of my life. Now I have you and Duncan and I don't think I have ever been this happy in my life."

"Now that he is here I am scared I'm not going to be a very good parent," Jared admitted.

Jensen moved and knelt in front of Jared. He cupped the younger man's face and kissed him softly on the lips. "You are going to be an amazing parent."

"I couldn't even keep him safe when he was inside me. How the hell I am going to keep him safe now that he is here?"

"Everything that happened before doesn't matter anymore. Now we just have to focus on the future. Okay?"

Jared looked down at Duncan and nodded. "You really think we're going to be able to do this?"

"Of course," he whispered. He bent down and kissed Duncan on the head. "He is such a good little guy. How could we not be okay?"


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are my own.

 Duncan barely ever cried. The only time the little boy made noise was when he wanted to eat or needed a  diaper change. Other than that he would lie in his crib or in his bassinet near their bed and not make a sound.  It was a little unnerving at first making Jared think that he was doing something wrong. He was constantly on the phone with his mom ask her opinion on the matter.

"Sweetheart," his mother sighed, "some babies just don't cry. And you are just one of the lucky ones. Other first time parents would kill to have a baby as great as yours."

Jared looked down at Duncan who was cradled in his arms. "You think he's great?"

"Well I might be just a tiny bit bias but I think you and Jensen made one amazing child."

Duncan yawned and grabbed onto Jared's loose fitting t-shirt, snuggling as close to him as he could get. He opened his eyes and blinked cloudy blue eyes up at Jared. When his eyes met Jared's he made a soft cooing noise and waved his hand around.

"I still can't believe he's here," he whispered to his mom.

"It's pretty amazing, right?"

"It's terrifying," he admitted. "I don't know what I am doing. And Jensen's not here so I am all by myself."

"When does he come home?"

"Tomorrow. The last time he saw Duncan he was this tiny little thing and now he's all big."

"He's gained two pounds Jared," his mother said. "He's hardy a monster."

"But compared to how he used to look he is!"

"Now he looks like a healthy baby boy. You have to get used to him gaining weight and getting larger. With your and Jensen's genes together he's going to be a big kid."

Jared looked down at the baby again. "I still can't believe how cute he is."

"He looks just like you where you were born."

"I see so much more of Jensen in him then me. I bet he'll have green eyes when he's older."

The jingling of keys had Jared looking up from Duncan and looking towards the door. Jensen walked into the room with his hands full of bags. When he saw Jared sitting on the couch with Duncan he dropped the bags and came rushing into the room.

"Mom, I've gotta go. Jensen just got home."

"Okay sweetie all talk to you soon."

Jared hung up the phone and looked back up at Jensen. The older man was standing in front of him with a goofy smile on his face.

"Hey," Jared whispered.

"Hi."

"What are you doing home? I thought you weren't done until tomorrow."

"I couldn't sit around in those boring meetings anymore, I needed to see my two beautiful men." Jensen reached down and picked up Duncan. "How are you little man?" He whispered to the baby. "How he been good?"

"Our baby doesn't cry," he informed him.

"At all?"

"Only when he is hungry or needs a diaper change."

"Is that normal?" Jensen asked as he sat down next to Jared.

Jared shrugged. "My mom says it is."

"Have you called the doctor?"

"He says its normal too."

Jensen smiled down at Duncan. "So basically we just have an awesome baby?"

"That's what they say."

"Maybe he will start acting up 'cause I am home. He was just being good for his papa since you were all alone."

"If that is the case then you are dealing with it," Jared told him. He gingerly stood from the couch and headed towards the kitchen.

"Where you going?" Jensen called after him.

"Duncan needs a bottle soon."

When he came back into the living room with the bottle for Duncan he found Jensen asleep on the couch with Duncan sleeping on his chest. Jared stood in the doorway afraid to interrupt the scene because they both looked so peaceful. But Duncan took care of that by waking up and letting out a small hunger cry.

"Hey now," Jensen whispered sleepily. "There's no need for that. Your papa's got the goods."

Jared passed Jensen the bottle. "I'm going to go catch a quick shower."

Jensen nodded. "I'll be here," he said watching as Duncan latched onto the bottled and started feeding.

"I'm glad your home," he whispered.

Jensen looked up and locked eyes with him. "Me too."

***

"I thought you said he didn't cry," Jensen mumbled.

"He needs a diaper change," Jared said turning over.

"How do you know that?"

Jared sighed heavily and got out of bed. He carefully lifted Duncan out of his bassinet and checked his diaper. "Oh look, I was right."

"Basically you're saying never doubt you?"

Jared nodded. He made quick work of changing Duncan's dirty diaper and put the baby back into his bassinet. By the time he got back into the bed Jensen was asleep again.

"Asshole," he muttered under his breath.

***

"Your turn," Jared singsong, passing a crying wet baby to Jensen.

Jensen looked up from his stack of papers and frowned. "I'm kind of in the middle of something."

"Seriously?"

"I'm trying to..."

"Fine, whatever," Jared shouted at him.

"What the hell?"

Jared turned back to him. "This," he said gesturing to Duncan, "is your son. I know you must be confused because you haven't spent much time with him since you came home but I thought I'd remind you."

"I know he's my son."

"Really? You have a really funny way of showing it. When was the last you held him."

"I...shit."

"Exactly. I feel like a single parent. You're always around but you are always too busy to take care of him. All I ask is that you change his diaper every now and then."

Jensen nodded. He walked over to Jared and took the squirming baby from him. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I promise I'll be more proactive on the baby front."

"You better be," Jared said. He kissed Jensen on the lips. "Now go change his diaper before he gets a rash."

"You've got it," Jensen said as he headed towards the nursery.

***

"When I asked you to take a more active role I didn't mean that you had to take over taking care of him completely," Jared sighed. "When do I get a chance to take care of him?"

"Once you are one hundred percent again," Jensen told him. "Now go take a nap."

"But what about Duncan?"

Jensen looked down at the baby in his arms. "Pretty sure he's sleeping."

"You're pretty sure?"

"He's fine," he clarified. "And he will continue to be okay even through your nap."

"What if I don't want to take a nap?" Jared challenged.

"Then you will be dead on your feet for our date tonight."

"Date?"

Jensen nodded. "My mom and dad are driving in tonight. They really want to meet this little guy so they will be staying for the next few days to visit. When I told them you haven't been out of the house in a few weeks they said they would watch him while we went out."

"But...I don't know if I am comfortable with leaving him."

"He'll be fine. My parents raised me and two other kids, I think they know how to handle a baby."

Jared moved towards Jensen and sat down on the couch next to him. "But..."

"No buts," Jensen told him. "You and I are going to have a nice night out together. Okay?"

"Okay," Jared whispered.

***

"Don't worry," Jensen's mom, Donna, said from the door. "Your baby boy is completely safe with us."

"You've got all of our numbers?" Jared asked.

"Yes."

"And you promise to call if anything happens?"

"Yes, Jared."

"Even if it seems really ridiculous to you?"

"I'm a seasoned pro," she told him. "Now go and have a good night."

Jared looked back one more time before getting into the car.

"So where do you want to go?" Jensen asked as he pulled out of the driveway.

"Back into the house," Jared whispered.

"Besides there?"

Jared shrugged. "You wanna see a movie?"

"Sounds good to me."

When they got to the movie theater Jensen looked over at Jared. "You sure you want to see a movie?"

Jared shook his head.

"Then why did you have me drive all the way over here?"

Jared climbed over the seat and sat in the back. "Come here."

"You serious?"

Jared started undoing his pants. "Do I look like I am kidding?" He asked, shimming out of his pants and boxers.

"Anyone ever tell you how amazing you are?" Jensen asked as he climbed into the back seat with Jared.

"Prove it," he challenged.

Jensen crashed his mouth against Jared's in a fierce kiss. Even though he knew he had as much time as he wanted he rushed, pushing one finger inside of Jared.

"Fuck," he breathed. "God you are so tight."

Jared made a whining voice in the back of his throat as Jensen started working his finger in and out. "Not..."

"What, Jay?"

"Not going to last long," he groaned, pushing back into the finger inside him.

"Want me to make you come off of nothing but my fingers?"

Jared nodded.

Jensen let out a breathy laugh then added a second finger, scissoring and crooking his fingers around before stroking over Jared's prostate softly; the action causing the younger man to let out a filthy moan.

"You like that?" He whispered into Jared's ear. "I like when I do that to you?"

"Yes," Jared breathed.

"Come on, Jared," he said. "Come for me."

Jared let out a little whine. "Can't."

"What do you need?"

Jared reached forward and took his cock into his heads and slowly started jerking himself off to the rhythm of Jensen's fingers. After a few stokes he was coming all over his own hands and stomach.

"God, you are beautiful," Jensen whispered as he carefully slipped his fingers out.

"What about you?" Jared breathed, coming down from his high.

Jensen looked down at his straining erection. At this point it was almost on the edge of painful.

"You wanna wrap those pretty little lips around me?"

Jared nodded his head eagerly and pushed Jensen down against the seat. He moved so that he was half on the seat and half off before unzipping Jensen's pants and pulling his cock out of his pants. His eyes locked with Jensen's as he took him into his mouth. In extremely embarrassing fashion Jensen only lasted a few seconds before coming down Jared's throat.

"Either I am really good or you need to get laid more often," Jared said as he stroked Jensen through his orgasm.

"Haven't even jerked off in a while," he panted. "You're too pretty to be wasting it in the shower."

"You sure know how to boost a man's ego."

Jensen laughed. "You wanna see that movie now?"

Jared nodded. "But I get to pick the movie."

"Of course you do," Jensen said. He tucked himself back into his pants and zipped them back up. "You going to get dressed or do you plan on going in like that."

"It's a good thing I love you," Jared mumbled, pulling back on his pants.

"I love you too."

After the movie Jensen convinced Jared into getting dinner at a small restaurant. They sat outside in the cool December air and ate their meal in almost complete silence.

"Did you want to celebrate Christmas this year?"Jared asked tentatively.

"Sure. Why, do you not want to?"

"Of course I do! I just didn't know if you wanted to wait to have a big extravagant Christmas next year once Duncan can sort of understand what is going on."

"You don't think our two month old will enjoy Christmas?"

"I know our two month old won't enjoy Christmas."

Jensen laughed. "I know he won't," he said. "But it is our first Christmas together and I want to go all out with you."

"Really?"

"Yes really."

"Shit," Jared suddenly mumbled under his breath.

"What?"

"We totally missed our one year anniversary."

Jensen did some counting in his head. When he figured out the day of their anniversary he let out a laugh.

"What?"

"Duncan was born on our anniversary."

Jared sat quietly as he did the math himself. "Oh my God, he was!"

Jensen leaned forward and kissed Jared on the lips. "Best anniversary present ever," he whispered against this lips.

"I couldn't agree more."

They didn't make it home right after dinner because they decided to have anniversary sex in the car instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I am coming to an end with this but at the same time I really don't want to stop. I just don't want to drag it out and have you guys start hating it because I refuse to let it go.


	26. Something worth living for

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short last chapter.

Christmas turned out to be extremely laid back. At first Jensen was going to invite both his and Jared's family over but then decided against it. Instead they spent the day lying in bed with Duncan laying in between them. They watched him as he slept while having conversations about their future wedding.

"I think we should wait a year before we get married," Jared whispered as he ran a hand up and down Duncan's back.

"Why so long?" Jensen sat up a bit so he could look at Jared. "You're not still afraid that I am going to leave you, are you?"

"No," Jared laughed. "I just think it would be nice to have Duncan as an active role in our wedding."

"You want our little man to be the ring bearer or something?"

"He would make the cutest little ring bearer," Jared mumbled. He leaned forward and placed a kiss to Duncan's temple. "You think it is a bad idea?"

"Of course not. How big of a wedding are we talking about here?"

"Small. Immediate family and friends only. Maybe just have it in the backyard or at a small church somewhere. Then have the reception here."

"You really want that?"

Jared nodded. He resumed rubbing Duncan's back before speaking again. "I don't even care if we have a wedding. We could get married at the court house or drive to Vegas and get married there. All I care about is that we are together."

"So if I said we shouldn't get married you'd be okay with that?"

Jared stopped rubbing Duncan's back. "You don't want to get married anymore?"

"Of course I want to marry you," Jensen whispered. He leaned forward and kissed Jared on the forehead. "I wouldn't have given you the ring if I hadn't planned on marrying you."

"Then what? Are you thinking Common Law Marriage?"

Jensen shrugged. "I just like the idea of being with you. I don't care if we are legally married or if we just tell people we are, I just want to be with you and Duncan."

"I'd like to get married."

"Then we get married," Jensen told him.

"And you don't mind that we wait a year?"

"Getting to see Duncan stumbling down the aisle in a little tux would be totally worth the wait."

"Really?"

"Anything for you."

Jared leaned forward and kissed Jensen's lips. "What are you thankful for?" He whispered.

"Isn't that something you talk about on Thanksgiving?"

"Well usually but we didn't celebrate this year so I want to hear it now."

Jensen sighed. "Fine," he mumbled sarcastically. He smiled brightly then kissed Jared's pouting lips. "I'm thankful for you and Duncan and that I was finally able to get Robert a big league deal. I'm thankful for my parents health and that everyone in my family is safe. What about you?"

"I'm thankful for you and Duncan, that we are both healthy and that mine and your family are healthy as well. But mostly I am thankful for having something worth live for."

"I am that something?"

"You and Duncan," he whispered. He lifted their son off of the bed and laid him down on his chest. "I was so lost before you. I was a wreck and I wasn't willing to get myself better. Then you walked into my life and I was willing to go to therapy to get better. Now I've got you and Duncan and everything in my life seems better. So yes you are that something."

Jensen leaned forward and placed his head down on Jared's shoulder. He looked down at their sleeping son and whispered. "You're me something worth living for too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this last chapter is so short. I didn't want to drag on with the ending so I decided to make it short and sweet. I kind of have an idea for a sequel but I'm not sure if I want to write it or not. Would you guys like for me to write one?

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah. What do you think so far? I'd really, really appreciate feedback.


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